Thursday, January 30, 2014

Breaking In (Again)

It’s become a pattern.

I don’t run for a week. An ache develops in my right hip. The next time I run, the ITB pain crashes back excruciatingly, no matter how carefully I maintain my form while running. 2 miles that were a pleasure a mere week before become agony. The next run finds the pain easing to almost nothing. And as long as I keep running at least once a week, my body is okay with it.

On one hand, I’m glad to know that when I have that pain, I can get past it. My body will perform, and it will readjust, and I don’t have to panic just because my knee hurts. On the other hand, I want to be able to run when I want to, and not be tied to the at-least-once-a-week schedule. I want my body to stop returning to its bad habits.

I just don’t know exactly what they are. I mean, I don’t know what I’m doing that makes my hip get stiff when I don’t run. Is it the way I walk? Sleep? Sit? Stand? A combination or all of the above?

Every time I have to re-break myself into running, I lose all the speed that I started to gain. Yesterday when I ran, I was passed by everyone who wasn’t walking. Even people that I knew I could pass if my leg would just let me move freely. But when I tried to speed up, the hip and knee protested and I slowed back down to a snail’s 12 minute mile pace.

Okay. 12 minute miles are not that bad. It’s still better than I ever did in high school. But I want that speed!

I’m planning on running a 5K in March. And while I know I will be proud simply to finish, that doesn’t stop me from wanting to show well. I want to at least beat my personal best, but I’m nowhere near that pace right now (29:31 is my personal best in a 5K).

I'm trying to hold my core tight even when I'm not running to see if that might help my issue. But the problem is that when I'm feeling good, it's easy enough to run twice a week. When I'm feeling bad enough not to run, then it won't be easy to work on my core.

At least I know I can always break myself in again.


Thursday, January 23, 2014

I Miss Crossfit...

It's been mere days since I ran out of time on my month of Crossfit, and I miss it already.

Not just the exercise, though that's a large part of it. I mean, whenever I went there, I ended up pushing myself and feeling like I'd gotten a good workout when I left. That alone is enough to miss, but I also miss the people that I met there (and maybe a few in particular).

We were all there for the same basic reasons, to get more fit, to challenge ourselves and to work. Even though there were a few people who didn't seem to be putting forth as much effort as I thought they could, or should, that didn't ultimately make a difference to my workout and my ability to challenge myself. Sometimes, I was able to go faster and harder by seeing other people trying to do the same things. Or harder things. Or even easier things for me that were harder for them.

I knew that I would not be able to continue attending these workout sessions every day. I'm pretty sure it isn't actually a good idea to workout that hard 6 days a week, not for ordinary mortals anyway.

But I did do it.

Non-athletic, light-weight lifting, late sleeping me.

And I wanted to keep going...

But I'm not. Even if I were still able to go, I'm sick today. Some sort of cold/tummy thing that's got me laid out - not something I would care to share with anyone, though my poor husband doesn't really have a chance to avoid it.

So once I'm feeling better, I'll be on to the next physical challenge: hiking on an incline treadmill with a pack loaded for a 2 day 3 night trip.

At least I won't have to get up at 5am for that one.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Crossfit Day 30

Today I had the chance to sleep a bit late, but my sleep was restless from about 6:30 on. I wasn't really awake, but I was in a light sleep. Part of the problem was that my husband was up early making breakfast. I can't really complain about that! And another part was that today was going to be my last day.

It's not that I won't ever do Crossfit again, just that the month I paid for is up. University classes start next week, and I don't have the time or the money to continue to take the Crossfit classes like I have for the last month. I'll try to keep going, as often as I can, but I know it won't be as often as I want to. And I'm not happy about that.

But I am looking forward to sleeping past 5am on workdays again.

Today's WOD was intriguing. I didn't really know how it would play out.

*AMRAP in  20 minutes:
- 500m Row, then
- Snatch (5pts), or
- Clean (3pts), or
- Deadlift (1 pt)
Perform the barbell movements for as long as it took to row (1 bar & same weight for all movements).
*Partner 1 rows 500m while partner 2 performs AMRAP,  then partners switch once 500m row is completed.

When I got to the gym, I took the first chance I had to corner the trainer and ask him about what his recommendation for my hands would be. I did spend the night with my hands in socks, coating the exposed skin with a layer of lanolin, but they weren't exactly ready to go. I mean, I was glad we weren't going to be on the pull up bar, but I wasn't sure how I would handle the weight lifting with the raw spots on my palms.

I had brought my cycling gloves, since they had some padding on the palms, and he offered to loan me weight lifting gloves, but, in the end, I decided against full-fingered gloves. Instead, he taped my palms up and I gave that a shot.

Other participants in this morning's workout (there were 8 at the 8am class), noticed the tape and asked me what happened. When I explained, I was advised to get a callous shaver and just use it whenever the callouses got big. Since I'm not going to be doing this as often, I might or might not do that. I'm thinking of getting some weight lifting/climbing gloves without fingers as protection against future callouses, but I haven't decided on that yet. I mean, I might be stopping the Crossfit classes, but I still want to be able to do a pull up!

After we did warm ups, we got out barbells and went through the movements of snatch, clean and deadlift. Then we chose weights and partners and decided on our personal strategies.

See, the points system gave incentive to do the harder movements of the snatch, or the clean, over the deadlift. The heavy lifters in the class had a lot of discussion beforehand about what the recommended weights should be. I knew that I wouldn't be working at a prescribed weight. I could clean 55 pounds with difficulty, and maybe snatch 35 pounds with great difficulty. Deadlifts, I could get much higher, maybe 85 or even 95 pounds before it became impossible.

Based on the points system, and my familiarity with the movements, I decided to focus on doing cleans, and then, if I got too tired to do them properly, I could knock out fast deadlifts with the light weight. I set my bar up for 45 pounds and brought out a rower for my partner and I to use. (I did try doing a snatch with 45 pounds, but I'm not there yet.) I partnered with the same person I had worked with two Saturday's ago, when I froze myself running outside. She went first on the rowing machine while I began to lift.

Most people were letting their barbells crash to the ground when they finished their rep, but I kept my grip steady on the bar and brought it all the way down before going back up. My speed was about the same as the person across from me who dropped. At least, for the first round.

It takes about 2 minutes to 2 and a half minutes to row 500 meters when you're pushing it like we were. That feels like forever when you're lifting. Heck, it doesn't feel that great when you're rowing. The rowing was harder on my hands than the lifting, but neither was beyond bearable. They stung a bit under the tape, but the tape did the job of providing an extra layer of protection.

It was intense. Breathless. I was determined to keep moving, but sometimes it was hard to get myself going. I would pause, and then force myself to quickly complete small sets, 3 or 5 or 10, bang, bang, bang. Then another breather. Then time to switch and I had the constant row, trying to extend every stroke as far as possible, no stopping, stinging hands. Switch to cleans, drop to deadlifts. Back to row.

Until it was over.

I did 35 cleans on the first round, 20 cleans and 31 deadlifts on the second round, 25 cleans and 11 deadlifts on the third and 25 cleans and 19 deadlifts the last time I lifted. I ended the AMRAP on the rower, bringing my rowing distance total to 1750 meters. By the points system, with 61 deadlifts and 105 cleans, my lifting totaled 376, and my partner got to 370. I wrote our joint total of 746 on the board.

I think my body learned how to do a better clean after all those reps. One thing that I had issues with was how to do the shrug at the top that precedes the flip to the front rack position. But after 105 in 4 fast sets, it's been ingrained into my body. Especially after the trainer reminded me to use that shrug. It really helps when you do the reps correctly - it actually does take less energy over the long haul than doing it wrong.

I thanked the trainer for the tape and then I walked home. My husband had already gone to the gym to get his workout done, taking the car. So I rode my bike to the gym. And then I did another sprint sections run, where I warm up for 2 laps, and then do 3/4 slow, 1/4 fast, 1/2 and 1/2, 1/4 slow, 3/4 fast, 1 fast, 1 slow and repeat. I just didn't do it as fast as I did on Wednesday. Not after today's WOD. I almost didn't do it, but I know that my ITB will thank me (by not hurting me).

By the time I did my post-run lunges, my husband was done with his workout. We went to the hot tub together, but didn't spend a long time there. Hunger pulled us out.

He drove home. I rode my bike. One last hard push before I could rest.

And I intend to rest.

After taking only 3 total rest days in the last 33 days, I am feeling worn out. I knew this pace was not sustainable, but I'm very proud that I finished strong.

I am going to miss this.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Crossfit Day 29

Today was my last day waking up at 5 in the morning for Crossfit. Even if I am able to get a 10 class pass, I probably won't go earlier than the 6:30 class, since I know getting up this early has messed with my sleep schedule and my ability to stay awake at work. I'll probably end up doing an evening class now and then. So, naturally, it wasn't at all hard to get up this morning. Of course.

There was a brand new term awaiting me on the WOD:

30-20-10
- Kb Snatch
- T2B
- Push-ups

I had no idea what kettle bell snatches would entail, but since the skill portion was working on them, I had no doubt that I'd learn them well enough to get through the WOD.

Before the class started, I spoke with another person about what kettle bell snatches were. That person was not pleased to see them on the WOD, because kettle bell snatches are evil.

It's not that they're very hard. The principles are fairly simple. It's just that doing them less than perfectly hurts.

A lot.

You start like a standard kettle bell swing with the weight between your legs, but you only hold it with one hand. Then, when you use your hips to swing the weight up, at about eye level you punch straight up and flip the weight over so that it rests against your wrist.

Or, as in many of my attempts, until it bangs painfully into your wrist. Again, and again, until you kind of get the hang of it and it doesn't hit and you get comfortable and then - bang.

It really, really hurts the tenth time.

And then you stop counting.

So I knew that I would be doing this WOD relatively slowly. I wanted to make sure I got my kettle bell snatches done with form good enough not to bruise my already forming bruises. I knew that the toes to bar progression that I would be doing would not be quick or easy, and cranking out that many push ups is not a piece of cake for me.

To put it mildly.

The trainer advised us to split the WOD reps between each hand for the kettle bell snatches. I started with my left side each time, because my left arm is weaker. I wanted to get that side over with first. By the time I finished the first round of 30, I felt I had a decent handle on the move. And the subsequent rounds were easier since there were less reps. Well, a little easier. My arms were dying after the toes to bar and push ups.

For the toes to bar, I tried as hard as I could to get my knees to my elbows, and also to get a rhythm going. Every time I touched that bar, my hands hurt. And I couldn't hold on for 30 or 20 reps in a row, so I had to drop, gasp at the pain in my hands and jump back up to it. My hands were already torn up from exercises earlier this week, and today was the last straw. Between grasping the kettle bells and the bar, they felt tortured. I didn't dare to look at them during the WOD, because I was afraid of what I might see.

I don't think my push ups would pass muster as strict push ups, but I do start from chest on the ground and push myself up to plank (not to knees). And I used my primal yell to get through these, especially on that last set of 10. Even though the music was transitioning and I was yelling into near silence, I still did it, screaming my way to finish in 9:14.

That's when I looked at my hands and saw I had ripped open not 1, not 2, but 3 callouses (2 on the right palm and 1 on the left).

For a moment, I wanted to just cry. I was tired and bleeding (a little) and it seemed like an easy thing to do. Instead, I got up and got a sanitizing wipe to run over the bar, the kettle bell and the place were I'd put my hands for push ups. If I'd just bled over them, I figured, then I should wipe them down.

I debated whether I should ask the trainer for advice on how to deal with my palms. I thought, for a moment, that my question would seem silly. Then I got over that and, when we were done stretching, I asked, displaying the mess I'd made of my hands with what almost felt like pride.

He told me to cut off the skin that had peeled partway off, using nail clippers or nail scissors, and then, tonight, to use Aquaphor on the wounds and sleep with socks on my hands to help them heal. I didn't know what Aquaphor was, and when he told me it was kind of like Vaseline, I thought of something else that I had that might help. But I couldn't think of what it was called. I like that I was comfortable enough to go through my "find that word" process with him, saying:

"It's waxy, uh, helps with chappiness, comes from sheep, oh, um, lanolin! Can I use lanolin?"

He told me that would work, so I'll be doing that tonight. In the meantime, I've got them covered with gauze and tape, which I will remove with the utmost care tonight. Showering this morning was excruciating, and typing right now is awkward, but other than periods of itchiness my hands are doing alright. Bruises are starting to bloom on my wrists.

A good second-to-last WOD - but I really hope that there's no bar work tomorrow...

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Crossfit Day 28

Last night, after work, I got my mid-week run done. During this Crossfit experience, I've been taking it mighty easy on those 2 mile maintenance runs, 13 and 14 minute miles, not pushing the pace very much. But last night I thought about my desire to run faster. And I thought that if lifting more weights was making me stronger (with Crossfit), then surely running faster, would make me run faster.

I know, it's pretty simple. And it's advice that I'd run into before (pun intended). But last night was the first time that I tried to implement it for myself in a structured sort of way. At the track at my gym, 11 laps is a mile. So I run 22 laps for my 2 miles. I ran the first 2 laps at my slow, easy pace. Then I ran three quarters of a lap slow, and one quarter at a fast pace. The next lap was half slow, half fast. Then one quarter slow, followed by three quarters fast and 1 whole fast. Finally, I got 1 slow lap before repeating the whole process. I ended up with 3 sets of my speed progression. And, for the very last lap, I did an extra fast lap instead of finishing on a slow.

I didn't finish the 2 miles particularly fast - it ended up being somewhere between 23 and 24 minutes - but I did work on my speed, and made myself run at points where I felt uncomfortable. I think that's important, that I ran even when I felt like I was going to puke (I didn't). After the run, I did my walking lunges with the 10 pound plate over my head, and then I rewarded myself with some hot tub time before riding my bike home at last.

After all that, I was in bed by 8pm, which made waking up at 5am moderately easier. Or I'm getting used to it just in time to stop. Either way, up by 5 and I liked the look of the WOD:

AMRAP 12 mins:
- 5 HSPU
- 10 Pull Ups
- 100m Run

This time I knew what the running would entail. I wore a long sleeve shirt and socks I could pull half way up my calves. Not ideal, but better than last time. According to the internet, the temperature was a balmy 19 degrees Fahrenheit (21 by the time I got home). But its only 100 meters, right? Easy...

After warm ups, we did strict presses for the skill portion. 4 sets of 6 to 8 reps, trying to increase weight on each set. We had to rest 3 minutes between sets, so there was plenty of time to add on weight (and/or take a pee break). I started with 25 pounds, went up to 30 pound, and then 35 pounds. I did that for the last 2 sets, and I had to work hard not to turn it into a push press. So I felt good about the skill.

I was looking for a way to increase the difficulty of the hand stand push up modification without actually doing hand stand push ups. I'm not there yet, but putting my hips on a box and doing hand stand push ups from there was not challenging enough. So I got to learn about the next step in the progression, which involves putting your feet on the box, pushing your hips up, and having your hands on the ground in the hand stand push up position, making sure you are facing the box (even if your eyes are closed). I got out an ab mat for that one, so I could shorten the range of motion enough that the move was challenging, but not impossible (the mat goes under your head).

I got out a green band and a blue band for my pull ups. I did start with just the green band, but it was too difficult so I ignored my internal judge and worked at a level that was sustainable and difficult, for me, today.

I'm not an athlete. I've never considered myself an athlete. I played on sports teams in grade school because my school was so small that if they didn't let everyone play who wanted to, there wouldn't be enough people to make up a team. Once I reached high school, I didn't play anything but the flute. Okay, I did like 9 months of Tae-Kwon-Do my senior year, but I still never felt like, or trained like, an athlete. And when I started running about 5 years ago, I was slow. I'm still slow, which is why my run last night was about building speed.

But today was not about the long haul, where I would need to conserve my energy for the miles ahead like I usually do. Today was about sprinting as fast as I could to get my freezing butt back into the warmth of the gym. Today, I ran those 100 meters, and I not only kept up with everyone else, I actually went faster than some. I have to say, I'm inordinately proud of passing one person in particular, not once, but twice - and I started from behind. I actually told that person that it was the highlight of my day, and I hope that they accepted it as good-natured ribbing from someone who never thought they'd be able to pass anyone while running.

The hand stand push up modification was hard, and the pull ups were harder. I know I started off slowly with those, but with each run I just let myself go, as fast as I felt safe on the frosty ground. And I would run back in and right back to my station, mark a tick on my chalkboard and start again. Some of the pull ups went really slowly as I struggled to just complete the set of 10. Others went better, especially when I had enough breath to yell through them.

It was hard to breathe, hard to catch my breath, but I pushed through it. I pushed and pushed, and in the last 4 minutes, I pushed harder, trying to get just 1 more round, and then 1 more.

I finished 7 rounds and 14 reps.

Usually, I collapse when I'm done.

But not today.

Today, I was in the midst of doing band-assisted pull ups. I got one foot down on the box that I used to get up to the height of the bar, but I was too tired to figure out how to pull my other foot free of the bands. I just stood there, one leg on the box, one hooked on the bands and out at a perpendicular angle to my body, while I rested my wrists on the bar and my head on my forearms, remembering how to breathe.

It was a great workout. I could not stop smiling afterwards.

The cold didn't hit until I got home. Instead of going directly into the shower, I sat down to eat so my body could start fueling up. My apartment is well-heated, but I sat there in fleece-lined pants, a down jacket, scarf and hat while I ate breakfast. And I was still cold, my midsection chill to the touch. It felt like I couldn't make myself warm there, even though other parts of my body were radiating heat.

The shower helped a lot, but I didn't really feel warm until about half an hour ago when I started eating lunch - and I've had my heater on at work, wearing long underwear under my pants, a turtleneck and a fleece vest (the bike ride to work in the cold probably didn't help...).

Running in the cold for those short spurts certainly is incentive to run fast.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Crossfit Day 27

Every morning it's just as hard to wake up as the last. I really thought I would be used to the 5am alarm by now, but no.

When I checked the WOD online, I saw that the skill portion would involve hand stands, so I wore my tight-fitting tank top. I'd rather wear something more form-fitting, even if it looks a bit unflattering to my arms, than flash my tummy when going upside down. I wasn't sure what to make of the WOD:

3 sets:
Max Reps (1 min on, 1 min off):
- Row for calories
- Sit Ups
- KB Swings
- Knees to Elbow

I didn't really understand how that would play out by reading it. And, to be frank, I wasn't going to devote all that much brain power to trying to figure it out. Not at 5am, not when I would find out in less than an hour.

We did rowing as part of the warm up. I like that, but I'm also a little afraid of the rower. No, not afraid, cautious. I managed to fall off the seat once, but it didn't result in injury, so I'm just a little cautious. And after the warm up, there were three skills to work on: hand stand walking, muscle ups and kipping pull ups.

I started with the hand stand walking progression. That involves facing away from the wall and getting into a plank with your feet on the wall. Then, you walk your hands towards the wall and walk your feet up the wall. Finally, you reverse that and walk back down to your start. Not easy. I found myself feeling kind of dizzy as I got closer to vertical, and, of course, my arms were burning.

After a few of those, I tried the muscle up progression. Using a band and the rings, you were supposed to sit on the band (one end of the band is looped around one ring, and other you hold in place on the other ring), lay back and extend your legs, and then raise your hips up to the level of the rings. Um, not so much. I mean, I tried, but I'm just not there yet.

As for the kipping pull ups, I am still trying to get a feel for the kipping part of that move. You're supposed to grab the bar and kind of swing your body so that your chest and head go forward and then back. On the back end, there's supposed to be a moment where your body feels weightless and you propel yourself up into the pull up from there. I ended up standing on a box and practicing the motion standing on the box. I think I started to get a feel for it. I know I was engaging my lats more, which is good.

Then we were on to the WOD. I pulled out a rower, got myself an ab mat, and a 26 pound kettle bell (I guess I had the weights wrong before - I thought it was 35, but it was clearly labelled 26). The ab mat is like a lumbar support, just a simple pad to go under the lower back during sit ups. I also staked out a bar from which to do my knees to elbows (or however high I could get them today).

We would go for 1 full minute on each exercise, then 1 minute of rest before 1 minute on the next exercise and then another minute of rest until we'd done all 4 exercises. Then repeat the whole process twice more for a total of 3 times.

Rowing was the most frustrating one for me. On every other exercise, I was able to push and do a few more reps, but I just could not get past 15 calories on that rowing machine.

I liked that for the sit ups I could see one other person out of the corner of my eye, and I kept telling myself to go faster than that person. And in the second and third rounds, I tried to go faster than myself, too.

On the kettle bell swings, I was very focused on doing the reps correctly and with speed. My lower back is still hurting from Monday, so I was sensitive to any signs that I might be straining it more. Breathing was also an issue on the kettle bells. I think I tense up on them somehow and I need to remind myself to breathe through the sets.

The knees to elbows were difficult - partially because I'd already started tearing up my hands during the skill portion. I kept having to drop down and re-grip. I mean, I didn't want to let go, but I would do a number of reps in a row and then my grip would give out. I would drop, and my hands would just hurt. They sting and they complain and I had to jump right back up and do more reps.

At the end of the workout, we were to add all the reps we had completed to the number of calories from the rowing and write the total on the board. I usually just memorize what my time was or how many rounds I did, but for this one I asked for a piece of paper and pencil so I could post my breakdown:

Calories burned rowing: 15 +15 +15
Sit ups: 35 + 38 + 41
Kettle bell swings: 26 + 28 + 30
Knees to elbows: 27 + 30 + 34
Total: 334

Whoops. When I added them up after class, I got 329 for the total. So that's what I wrote on the board, but now my calculator is telling me I was wrong.

Who'da thunk it? I'm not as good at math after doing a WOD...

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Crossfit Day 26

This morning I slept straight through to the alarm. I think riding my bike to work added just enough to my exercise routine to make me extra-tired.

So tired, that I misread the number of double unders we were going to be doing. I looked and saw "10" and then when I got to the gym, it turned out the actual number was 50.

I did think that the 10 would be too easy. . .

3 Rounds for time:
- 10 Over Head Squats
- 50 Double Unders

We began with warming up, as usual. The class was not as crowded as yesterday - I think there were 17 people yesterday, more like a dozen today. It still seems to be a lot of people to me that are willing to get up so early. And most of them probably live a lot farther from the gym than I do. I don't even want to think about what time they have to get up!

The skill portion was more snatch work: snatch deadlift, snatch pull, hang power snatch and hang snatch. 5 sets of singles. I did 2 rounds with just the 15 pound bar, then added 5 pound plates, and then switched to 10 pound plates for a total of 35 pounds. Part of the difficulty with these movements is that the grip is so wide set. I have to put my hands out so far that it just feels weird. But part of the reason for doing these light single sets is to get used to the motion and the form and get over the awkwardness.

And the overhead squats for the timed portion also use that grip, so it also got us ready for that. Somewhat ready. I decided to go with 25 pounds total on my bar for the overhead squat. I wanted to make sure I kept good form, and I'm babying my back just a little bit. Yesterday's partner deadlift ganked my lower back, and I can feel that it is still sore. Not sore enough to keep me from working out, but sore enough that I want to be careful.

The double under substitute was 150 singles.

I actually have started to enjoy jumping rope. But doing 450 jumps before breakfast? That's more than a little crazy.

So I guess I have to figure out the double under. And I want to. But I haven't yet. So I did 450 jumps, in 3 sets of 150, with my overhead squats interspersed.

I finished in 7:20 and threw down my rope. I tried to give it a little kick, but I missed. I felt tired, but not exhausted. And, again, there wasn't really an excuse to yell on these reps. Well, when jumping rope, I find I have little breath left over for things like yelling. Maybe yelling could help me figure out the double unders...

I was not the last to finish, so I chatted with another person that I had not seen before about the weights we used and how light they were. I repeated the advice I had been given about building slowly and with patience.

Once everyone was finished, we cleaned up and stretched and I headed home. I must have been more tired and worn out than I realized, because it wasn't until I had showered and eaten breakfast that I realized I had forgotten to write my name and time on the chalkboard. D'oh!

I know there are some people who don't do it, but I like it. I like proving that I did the work, even if it took me a long time, or a short time, or whatever. That I was there, and I did it. I might have to go to the WOD blog and post my time in the comments to make up for my slip.

I rode my bike to work again, and I think one of the things that I've learned from Crossfit so far is how to lean in to the discomfort of burning muscles. How to find that inside the pain is another gear, one that you can't find any other way.

I hope I get another crack at the box jumps this week, but I was glad not to see them this morning...

Monday, January 13, 2014

Crossfit Day 25

I woke up 11 minutes before the alarm went off this morning. I thought about getting up, but I stayed in bed, even though my feet were cold.

Like I'm going to get up any earlier than I have to on a Monday.

I don't know if I'd be able to get up every day at 5am and go workout like am I right now. I guess, theoretically, I'd get used to it. But, even though I'm going to miss doing the workouts, I'm going to enjoy the heck out of sleeping to my normal time of quarter to 6 next week.

Today's WOD looked really hard, until I noticed it was supposed to be partnered:

20 Min AMRAP*
- 10 Wallball shots (20/14#)
- 10 box jumps (24/20″)
- 10 Shoulder to Overhead (95/65#)

*Paleo Challenge participants – Only 1 partner works at a time while the other rests. The reps may be broken up between partners using any variation you’d like.

My gym is doing a "Paleo Challenge" which, from what I have gathered, involves going on the paleo diet for 2 months while doing Crossfit, and it is supposed to help you build muscle really fast. Or something. I am not going to be joining in on this particular challenge. Mostly because there's no way I could get my husband to start cooking paleo...

The skill portion of the class was partnered deadlifts - just like deadlifts, only you stand next to someone and you both lift the same bar at the same time, presumably with a higher weight than either of you could manage alone. I think that I was not able to communicate effectively with my partner, possibly because they kept saying that they had the flu. And I was like, really? Then why, oh why, are you here sharing your germs and impeding your own recovery? But I only asked that once. And I didn't get an answer.

Anywho, um, yes, workout stuff. So, my partner tended to let the weight drop quicker than I was ready for, and I got a minor pulled muscle in my back. Enough that I didn't do any more deadlifts, but I was able for the WOD. It still hurts a bit, but I'm rubbing it and sitting on an exercise ball, which helps keep me in good posture.

I ended up partnering with the same person for the WOD. We got a 10 pound wall ball and set up a barbell for 45 pounds for our shoulder presses. I proposed that we alternate exercise by sets, so that one of us was always going on to the next set of 10 - since there were 3 different exercises, that would allow us to each do every exercise, every 2 rounds. I started with the wall balls, and when I finished my 10, they did 10 step ups on the box (another post-traumatic box sufferer), I did 10 shoulder presses, then they did 10 wall balls, etc...

There were two sets of shoulder presses that my partner was unable to complete (because the flu!). I finished out those sets before starting my wall balls, because it didn't matter how we split the reps, just that they all got done. Because we were a team, and because I was perfectly happy to get a little more workout in. Together, we finished 13 rounds and 1 rep.

And even though I was sweating and breathing heavily, I didn't feel like I had worked out as hard as I could. I felt disappointed, just a tiny bit. But it's about patience. I did do a good workout. I pushed and I improved on my wall ball technique. I tried to help my partner out by encouraging better form on front racking the barbell between shoulder press reps. I shouted encouragement.

But I didn't have to bring out that primal yell to get through today's workout, and I think that's what I missed. I like using my outdoor voice, especially indoors. And I don't get to do it nearly often enough.

So I'll go harder tomorrow.

Oh, and the weather has finally conspired to give me a dry, non-sub-freezing day, so after all that, I rode my bike the 2 miles to work. I haven't done that since before I started doing Crossfit. I felt like there was a difference in the way that I biked. Moving the pedals felt easier, but I also felt better able to push through the burn in my quads to maintain a good pace. And did they ever burn... I guess I worked out pretty hard this morning after all.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Crossfit Day 24

Today was a Mobility class. I didn't know what to expect for it, other than I was told it would be like a massage.

Turns out, that description was pretty accurate.

We started off by putting 45 pound bars on the rig at mid-thigh height. Then we spent time working on our glutes and hamstrings, one side at a time, rubbing against the bar. Essentially, we were rubbing our butts and legs on the bar as if it were a foam roller, finding the sore spots and working them.

Oh, and the class started out in the dark.

About 9:30 this morning, the power went off at my apartment, so I rather expected that the crossfit gym, a mere three blocks away, would also be without power. And it was. The only light came from the emergency exit lights and the windows. You could see alright, but it was dim, a napping ambiance.

I think I was more relieved than anyone else when the lights came on around 10:20, because that meant that the heat would be back on when I got home.

After working the hamstrings and the glutes, we took the bars off the rig and sat on the floor to work our quadriceps. We did that by resting one end of the bar at the top of one thigh and rolling it slowly down to just above the knee. Then place it back at the top (don't roll up) and repeat.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

I knew my legs were sore and torn up, but I had no idea just how bad they were until I rolled that bar down my legs. I actually woke up last night around 1am with my right quad hurting so bad that I needed to take an Alka-Seltzer before I could get back to sleep. Even knowing that, I was surprised at how much this hurt. And it hurt on the left as bad as the right.

But after we were done, my legs felt a bit lighter and looser. I'll just need to do that for about three more hours each leg and maybe the pain will go away...

The next set of exercises worked on our hips. First we did a test squat, and then we used bands and the rig to stretch first one hip, and then the other. Next, we got kettle bells and held them while squatting, letting our elbows drive out our knees, and then pushing our knees in for a ten count before letting the elbows open them up again. And repeat. Finally, we squatted again to see how the exercises had opened up our hips. The second squat did feel a lot easier than the first.

The last thing that we did was partner shoulder stretches. I partnered up with another woman about my height, and she started on me by pulling my arms up as I laid face down with my arms over my head.

I forgot to warn her that I'm a tiny bit hyper-flexible in my arms. My shoulders made a couple of loud pops as she pulled up and she thought she had done something wrong, or broken something. I thought it felt great! We got through the rest of the stretches without any more scary noises, and that was the end of the class.

I feel better than before the class, but I also have a greater awareness of where I'm sore. I'm going to keep working my legs with my foam roller at home today.

I have no doubt I'll still be sore by tomorrow morning's WOD.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Crossfit Day 23

I felt downright decadent sleeping in until all of 7 in the morning today. But after I got up, I still wanted to get more sleep. Or, at least, be lazy for a while.

Instead, I ate half a protein bar and got dressed for my workout. Since we weren't going to be running outside today, I went with a tank top and shorts.

All I could tell from looking at the WOD before going was that this would not be an easy workout:

“TK”
AMRAP in  20 minutes:
- 8 Strict Pull-ups
- 8 Box Jumps (36″)
- 12 Kb swings (72#)

And, when I got to the gym, I learned that this is a "Hero WOD." (And apparently, the Walsh was also a Hero WOD, though I didn't know that at the time.) Hero WODs are named in honor of military service personnel who were killed in action. They are meant to be hard - harder even than normal WODs.

I wish I could have done it at the recommended heights and weights and without using bands for the pull ups. I want to be able to do that. But I can't. So I went as hard as I could.

I brought out a green band and a black band for my pull ups, and the trainer added a blue band for me after I switched from the green to the black in the middle of my second round. After that I did the green and blue together for 4 more rounds before conceding to the burn in my forearms and using the black. (The black is the thickest band, and gives the most support. The green is the next step, followed by the blue, but the combination of blue and green is less support than black.)

Ah, box jumps. My nemesis. I made strides today in getting back to the 20" height. There was no way I could go for the prescribed 36" height. I'm not even sure I could step up that high - it's more than half my height! I tried to jump on the 20" box when we were setting up before starting the WOD, but I was almost crying as I jumped next to the box and felt like I wasn't getting the height. So the trainer brought out two short, um, things, that aren't really meant to be used for box jumping, but would help me get back into the motion. I would guess the height was more than 12 inches and less than 18. I didn't have any problem getting the height, and as I progressed through the rounds I was able to get into a good rhythm, jumping up then down and bouncing right back up.

I tried using a 53 pound kettle bell, which was the prescribed weight for women. I did, really! I gave it a few swings without ever getting it above shoulder height. And when the trainer reiterated that he wanted to see us swing the kettle bells with control, I knew I wouldn't be able to use it for the workout. But I did try on the first round of the WOD before going to the 35 pound one for the remainder. It was a bit odd with the other two exercises being 8 reps, and the swings being 12. I would get to 6 and tell myself, halfway there. Then 8, and I'd have to remind myself to do 4 more. I'm figuring out how to keep breathing during those motions - always a good thing, breathing.

I felt like I started slow, but somewhere in there I sped up. My movements got smoother, even though the pull ups were excruciating every time. At the halfway point, I was a little over halfway through my sixth round. The trainer told us he wanted us to do at least as many rounds in the second half as we had in the first half, and I set myself on doing 11 rounds by the end.

I managed exactly 12 rounds in those 20 minutes.

I was dripping with sweat; my lungs were desperately sucking in air, and my forearms were ready to quit. I had a good workout. I worked at my level and I worked hard.

But I still mentioned to one of the other participants in the 8am class that I felt like I was cheating with the low box and the bands and the light kettle bell (we were 4 strong this morning). She told me that I had to be patient, and that the strength would come in time.

I walked out, wishing a person walking in a good morning before I crossed the street and burst into tears.

I'm not sure exactly why. But I did work out hard, and I was drained, mentally and physically. That woman's kind words about what I perceived as an inadequacy in myself touched me. And I also felt like I wouldn't have the time to get strong, because I don't have the money or time to continue to do Crossfit like I've been doing after next week.

So, I had myself a good cry, and then I went to the rec center with my husband. I ran my 2 miles faster than I have since I started doing Crossfit, in 23:12. I just felt inspired to see what my already battered muscles could do. Then I did my post-run lunges, doing 10 of each of the 30 forward and 30 backward as low, touch-the-knee-to-the-track, lunges. After that, I sat on a bike and kept my legs moving until my husband was done with his weight lifting.

The bouldering cave was next. We spent about 10 minutes there. I got as high as it is possible to get, touching the ledge that marks the top of the cave three times. Every time I go up there, it gets a little less scary, and I feel a little more confident. Even though my forearms were burning, I could still keep a grip on the rocks and hold myself on that wall.

As usual, we ended up in the hot tub, and I let the jets soothe my right hip and quad. The quad has been extra sore since we did weighted lunges in Crossfit, and the hip always gets tight when I run - though less so the more often I run.

Tomorrow will be a Mobility class instead of Yoga, since the Yoga teacher is going to a training. I'm told I'll enjoy the Mobility class, that it's like a massage. I am excited to find out.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Crossfit Day 22

I woke up half an hour before the alarm, and then again a few minutes before. And then the alarm went off, I felt rather awake and energized. I was ready to hop out of bed and get dressed. I thought that I must finally be getting used to this whole early waking thing.

But about ten minutes later, I felt tired and hollow again. I didn't want to go workout.

And I almost didn't check the WOD before I left, but I found that I couldn't help myself. I had to know what was in store.

3-6-9-12-9-6-3
- Power Clean
- Burpee Box-Jumps

And, of course, it would be more box jumps - burpee box jumps to boot!

Still. I went.

The skill portion of the workout involved the snatch, with which I was totally unfamiliar. We did overhead squats, snatch balances and hang squat snatches. None of that made any sense to me when I read it (it all sounded vaguely dirty), but the trainer gave good instructions and before I knew it I was holding the bar over my head with what seemed to me an absurdly wide grip while squatting.

It was weird, but not too difficult since we kept to light weights to build skill with the form (I did a set with just the 15 pound bar, 1 with 35 pounds and the other 3 sets with 25 pounds). And it was easier once I got the trick of turning my armpits forward to prevent myself from overbalancing. It made me think of the armpit offensive - the trick of defeating one's enemies by raising one's arms in surrender when one has particularly bad armpit odor - your enemy will just beg for you not to surrender! But I was wearing deodorant, so I wasn't worried about offending anyone with that maneuver.

After that was done, I set my barbell up with 55 pounds for the clean. I figured that would still be hard, but not impossible, based on the last time that we did cleans. Maybe next time I'll bump it up.

Then I carried out my box.

Before I got to the gym, I lectured myself about doing step ups. There's nothing wrong with doing step ups, I told myself. You are letting your body recover before you threaten it again. It's just like doing a lighter weight.

I think I even believed it.

I didn't ask the trainer or second guess myself about the decision to do step ups, though I did try a few jumps to the side of the box. I feel like I'm not getting enough height. I'm not sure if that's because I'm not healed from my injury or because I've got a bit of a cold or for some other reason. But it's enough to stop me from trying to jump onto the box. For now.

So we started the workout and I immediately felt like I couldn't breathe, or, at least, that I wasn't getting enough air, as I powered through the first set of 3 cleans and 3 burpee box step ups. I found myself struggling to remember to breathe as the sets got longer. I do like the pyramid structure of the sets, because there's a nice definition to them. I know that after I do the set of 12, it's going to get easier from there, and so I can go faster. Try to go faster. I did do the last set of 3 cleans and burpee box step ups really fast. And then I collapsed, like I do.

It seemed like I was sweating more today than I usually do. Dripping more, anyway. I had a puddle by the end of the 10:20 that it took me to finish. It's a good thing that whatever the floor is made of is porous enough to prevent me from slipping on those puddles. And they disappear pretty quickly. The floor always smells like bleach, so I guess I can pretend that other people haven't also sweated on them as I put my face to the floor for burpees...

I felt good about today's workout. Like I went hard enough, fast enough, lifted heavy enough. When I finished, I was emptied. And I was tired as I walked home.

But it was good.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Crossfit Day 21

Last night, I went for a slow 2 mile run. I could feel that my hip was stiff, but I also felt it loosening as I ran, so I'm glad I did it. But even going slow, I felt drained, especially after I did my post-run walking lunges (10 pound plate overhead, 30 forward, 30 backward). It's not that I didn't enjoy spending some well-earned time in the hot tub once the run was done, but when I left the gym I turned into a zombie until after I ate dinner. I was even talking with a flat affect, which is not at all like me (and actually really bugs me when other people do it).

I don't know how people make it through real boot camps - I'm only working out once or twice a day, and I'm beat. And I get to have caffeine!

I woke up 8 minutes before the alarm this morning, and I considered staying up for all of 2 seconds before I went back to sleep until the beeping began. It felt like a slow morning, but I made myself get up and get dressed and check the WOD online. It seemed... too easy to be true:

EMOM for 10 minutes:
- 1 Rope Climb
- Max Shoulder 2 Overhead

Of course, this followed the skill section which involved practicing the rope climb, pistols and double unders. But still - every other minute on the minute for 10 minutes, I thought, was not that hard. And my interpretation of max shoulder to overhead was loading up on weights and doing a rep.

I was so wrong.

That's not EOMOM, it's EMOM. Every Minute On the Minute. And the max part? That means do as many reps as you possibly can before the next minute starts. And that number is what you put on the board.

But first, I got to practice my rope progressions. You do 3 progressions to equal 1 rope climb. I'm still having to use bent knees rather than straight legs as I use my upper body to pull myself from laying down to upright along the rope. My upper body strength is not there yet for doing real rope climbs, but I really, really want to. I actually kind of tried, but I had a hard time even holding myself on the rope, let alone locking my feet around it and getting off the ground.

Then there were the pistols, also known as one-legged squats. These I've been trying to do for years now without much success. The progression for them is to use the rig as a pole of sorts and walk yourself down to the squat with your arms helping out. Then walk yourself back up. Easy, right? Actually, it was pretty easy for my right leg, even though it was really sore. I felt like I could almost do it without the assist. Almost. My left leg is significantly weaker. It did not want to stand up once it was down. Oddly though, it got easier to do as I progressed in the rounds, until at the last round I felt like the left leg was making progress.

The double unders are still difficult for me. I didn't manage to do any today, though I did work on them. I was instructed to not bend my knees, to get a big bounce off my toes, to use my wrists and not my arms to swing the rope and I still couldn't get it. I'm going to blame the rope for being just a little too long for my short self, but I know that it's also a timing and mental thing. Once I get it, I think I'll make good progress.

Then it was time to set up for the overhead presses. Strict presses were not recommended for this exercise, since we were supposed to do as many as possible, and the best press for that was the push press. Quick, but not too straining to do repeatedly. I tried doing 45 pounds and ended up deciding on 35 pounds for this particular exercise. It was a good choice.

I thought yesterday's workout was weird, but this was crazy. 3 rope climb progressions, then dash to the barbell and do overhead presses until the minute came, then back to the rope. Repeat. And again. Etc...

I think I could have done better. I feel like I was scared of the press and the pain in my shoulders from the repeated rope pulling, and I didn't do as many reps as I could have. Maybe. But I know I worked hard. My hands are torn up from the rope, and, like I said to another person at the end of class, "It's low fives today, because we can't lift our arms for high fives."

This workout killed my arms, even though I was only doing 35 pounds and I only got in 95 reps. (I was so close to 100 - I think what kept me from that was that I did a set of progressions leading with my left hand instead of my right. I was trying to balance myself, but the left is weaker and slower so I lost time.)

By the time I walked home, I was euphoric with the afterglow of the workout.

By the time I went to work an hour later, I was exhausted and whiny.

If I'm going to misunderstand the WOD like I did today again, then it might be better not to check it before I go. I'm not sure why I check it really. It isn't like I decide to go or not based on the WOD. I'm going, no matter how scary it seems, no matter how worried I am that I might not be able to do it, or that I might mess up. I have "messed up." I've dropped weights, been the last to finish, finished embarrassingly fast with low weights and progressions and it hasn't mattered.

Finishing matters. Trying matters. Pushing matters. Which is why I'm getting up at 5am again tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Crossfit Day 20

Just when I think I've experienced every kind of torturous workout routine that they can come up with, I get a surprise. Oh sure, it's an AMRAP, but not just any AMRAP. Today's WOD breaks the AMRAP up into sets, just for fun (or pain?):

5 sets:
AMRAP in 2 min:
- 10 Wallballs
- 10 KB Swings
+ Rest 1 minute between each set. Start each round where you left off previously.

But before we could get into that fun, we did some weighted lunges. I don't know why, but I thought that weighted lunges would involve having the barbell across the back, like back squats.

I was wrong - we had the barbell in the "front rack" position, which involves keeping your elbows out in front of you and up, while holding the barbell kind of against the tops of your arms. It might have been that I was doing it a little wrong, but that position hurt my shoulders after a while, holding it there. We did 3 rounds of 16 to 20 reps, alternating legs, at our own pace/weight. I started with 45 pounds as a 15 pound bar and 2 15 pound plates, but then I switched it over to 2 10 pound plates and 2 5 pound plates - the same weight, but I could take 10 pounds off if I didn't think I could finish at 45 pounds. It was not easy for me.

On the 3rd round, I actually ended up bailing. I dropped the bar in front of myself and fell down on my butt. Luckily that wasn't very far, because I was down in a low lunge and found that I just couldn't get up. I did end up finishing the set with my starting weight, but I had to yell at every rep to get it done.

Then it was fun time. I thought about selecting a 12 pound ball, but then I decided against that. I just didn't feel like I was ready to step that up - not yet. So I stuck with the 10 pound ball. I did 35 pounds for the kettle bell, and I think that my weights were just about right for where I am right now.

I am getting better at the wallballs, but there's still room for improvement. I only managed to do 1 set of 10 without dropping the ball or breaking form (out of the 10 sets that I did). But more and more of my reps are getting there. I didn't pay attention to my knees though and whether or not they were going out as I stood up. I think the trainer would have yelled at me if they had been going in, but it's something I want to watch for and train myself out of doing anyway.

The kettle bells started relatively easy and got harder. I was getting through 2 rounds and a couple reps for each set of 2 minutes, and that second set of kettle bell swings was killing me - I felt like I couldn't breathe, the length of my abs was just tight and painful as I swung the bell over my head. I think I actually forgot to breathe at some points in the middle sets. For the last two rounds I was focusing on breathing while I did the kettle bells, not in any sort of rhythm, but just making sure I was breathing as deeply as I could to get the oxygen I needed to complete the task.

The 1 minute rest goes by so fast, but so do the 2 minute all outs. During the rest periods, all I wanted to do was collapse, and during the all outs, I was so focused on what I was doing that I couldn't really think. I just wanted to do at least as many as I had the last round and more if possible. I managed to get through 10 rounds and 5 reps, and I feel really good about that.

I liked today's WOD. It was challenging and a little different. It let me push myself a little harder, I think, than going all out for 10 minutes would have.

I was feeling a little sick yesterday, so I went to sleep super early last night. Even with sleeping for close to 10 hours, I felt tired this morning, and I was severely tempted to skip working out - especially since it snowed in the night, which makes walking to the gym extra fun (sarcasm!). But I did it, and I'm glad I did. I'm planning on running 2 miles after work so that I keep my hip from stiffening up, and then maybe a few minutes in the bouldering cave and a soak in the hot tub.

I can't wait to find out what tomorrow's WOD will be. Oh, wait. Yes, I can. That's why I won't be looking at the website until tomorrow morning...

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Crossfit Day 19

I slept a lot better last night, but I was still tired when I woke up this morning. A deep tiredness that makes me want to take a nap RIGHT NOW, but I can't because of this thing called "work" that earns me "money" so I can "eat."

Ahem, anyway, it was another loaded class today, 14 or 15 people crowding in for the early-early class. I met some more people, introducing myself and trying to learn names. And we went around and said our names during the warm-up, but I can't remember anyone's name from that. I don't think I was actually awake yet.

The skill portion of the class involved L sits, which pretty much what it sounds like and incredibly difficult (grab bars and lift your legs straight, toes pointed at the ceiling, making an 'L' with your body). I did the progression, which just involves holding your knees up while supporting your weight with your arms. It was actually a surprise to me that I could do it at all, let alone keep it up for a whole minute at a time - we did 1 minute on, 1 minute off for 10 minutes. There weren't enough actual bars to go around, so I was actually holding myself up on boxes, which was hell on my wrists. Though for all I knew the bars would have been just as bad.

After that strenuous core work, it was time for the WOD:

15 – 12 – 9 – 6 – 3
- Box Jumps
- Toes to Bar
- Deadlift

I brought out my box and I contemplated it. I still have marks on my leg from my box jump fail, and I just feel nervous about trying again. There's a part of me that knows I can do the jumps, but there's another part of me that knows how it feels to fail. I know I will have to try again, but not today. Today, after consulting with the trainer about whether it would be better to do a weight stack jump or step ups, I ended up doing step ups.

They are hard  - it's the same height as the jump, after all, and getting into a rhythm with them is difficult. But they aren't box jumps.

I did knees to armpits again for toes to bar and deadlifted 85 pounds. I think I could handle more. Next time, I'm going to try for more on the deadlift.

The steps ups were the most difficult part of the workout for me today. The thought that I should be doing box jumps made me grumbly about doing step ups - until I was too exhausted to grumble (about 5 reps in). The toes to bar was actually kind of fun. I found myself getting into a swinging rhythm with them and finishing each set quickly. The deadlifts felt good, in that I didn't feel like I was compromising form for weight and that it was hard, even though I thought I could go heavier.

But when the workout was over (I finished in 7:42, one of the first to finish - I think that was because there was a woman next to me that I found myself "racing"), the trainer asked me how it was and I didn't know how to respond.

His suggestions, "Good? Bad?" didn't seem to fit with how I would describe it. I ended up saying, "Hard." But that wasn't quite right. It was good, and it was bad. It was mentally challenging to make myself do the work, and physically challenging to make myself do it quickly. It was difficult, but not impossible. It made me feel like I couldn't breathe and that my abs were going to quit in protest. It gave me a bit of emotional overload that I cried out for a few minutes at home. It made me strive to find my limits.

Is that good?

Is that bad?

Whatever it is, I like it.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Crossfit Day 18

I had a hard time getting to sleep last night, and I didn't even look at the workout before bed!

My husband theorized that it was because I didn't do a hard workout yesterday - and I slept in until 8am. I think he might be right.

So, up at 5, dressed, and out the door.

This morning's class was positively crowded. 15 people all up and ready to work out at 5:30 in the morning. Must be the New Year's resolutions kicking in.

Since there were so many people, we paired up to do the skill portion, which was strict presses, 4 rounds of 8 to 10 reps with 3 minutes rest in between. I and my partner lifted 45 pounds. I thought I might be able to do a little bit more, but once I got started on the set, I was glad to have kept it that light. The last time I did presses was for the 10,000 pounds WOD, and I had to resort to using my knees to get through those reps. With these, no knee bending was allowed, and the reps were hard.

Then came the WOD:

AMRAP in 10 min
- 5 Pull ups
- 10 Push ups
- 20 Double Unders

Ah, the AMRAP, where I don't have to see how slow I am until we're all finished.

I did banded pull ups, standard push ups and singles instead of doubles - which meant I had to do 60 instead of 20. The pull ups and push ups were hard but not impossible, but the jump rope that I had grabbed was awful. It was a bit too long, for starters, coming up over my shoulders instead of to my armpits. The handles - I don't know exactly what was wrong, but when I started jumping they didn't let the "rope" part (twined metal covered in a plastic sheath) swing freely. I ended up tripping over a rope that had twisted up, and I didn't want to take the time to untwist it properly. I used brute force and started jumping again, but it just wasn't working. It took me way too long to get through that first 60. By the time I was on the second round, I figured out that I had to choke up and hold the "rope" instead of the handles, but it was still difficult so when the trainer walked by I told him that I hated the rope and, because he is awesome, he got me a different one for the next round. That one I could use! Even though I still can't do double unders.

When I'm hiking or running and I'm on an uphill, I like to rush to the top. I push and pant and persevere to get a rest once I've conquered it. And that's the way I treat these Crossfit workouts. I may not be doing the heaviest weights, but what I am doing, I am doing hard. I want to see results, and I want to push myself. I did that today, speeding up in the last two minutes to squeeze one more round in (I finished 6, even).

I don't think everyone approaches it that way, though most of the people I've seen seem to push like I do. When the 10 minutes was up today, I collapsed on the ground, like I usually do, and caught my breath for a few moments. From my position on the ground, I saw someone else calmly start putting their stuff away and I was a bit shocked. How could they not be exhausted by the end of that workout? How could they not even look sweaty?

I'm not trying to judge that person, but I am comparing them to me. I guess judgment is inevitable, but I don't want to be rude. I just find it interesting that a girl who could hardly be coaxed to run a mile in under 14 minutes in high school (me) would be able to find in herself the ability to get up at 5am and do an all out, screaming, grunting, crazy workout. I know there was a me who would have slacked on these workouts, but I don't think she exists anymore. I think I'm having too much fun pushing myself. Just like with Turbokick classes, when I stopped caring that I was sweating like crazy and might look like a total doofus jumping around until I could hardly catch my breath, I'm figuring out how to really leave that ego at the door here. And figuring out that ego isn't just arrogance, but embarrassment and fear as well.

This other person can work out in any way that they choose. It does not affect me. But I see in them a me that used to be, and I can also see in them the potential for going balls to the wall, screaming and crying and not giving up, no matter how messy or crazy life might get.

I zombied my way home afterwards, spent, but virtuous in my exhaustion. I can't believe I'm getting up so early again tomorrow...

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Crossfit Day 17

The yoga class is like a day of rest. I get to sleep in to the decadent hour of 8am, and my only exercise thing is 1 hour of stretching and about 6 minutes of walking there and back. And yet, I remain exhausted.

I think that while my body isn't getting as sore as when I first started the Crossfit classes, I'm still not really used to the work. Part of that is no doubt due to the point of Crossfit - mix up the workouts, confuse the body, and never hit a plateau. And I think part of my exhaustion is due to the fact that I've never consistently worked my body like this before.

Every class is hard, even if I'm only going all out for 5 minutes, I am going all out and I feel it.

Today's yoga class was actually a little bit more difficult than usual. We did a few more strength based moves than we had the past 2 weeks. My body trembled to hold some of the poses, and my core was definitely challenged by the way I moved today.

I'm truly questioning my sanity as I plan to do 5:30am classes all five workdays this week - and a run after work on Wednesday so my hip doesn't get too tight. I've never done anything like this before. But if I thru-hike the Pacific Crest Trail, then getting up at 5 in the morning will be the least of difficult things that I need to do. And every time I get up and get the work done, I gain confidence in my ability to do it again.

Now, if I could just stop being so tired...

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Crossfit Day 16

I picked the wrong day to wear a tank top to work out.

Probably because it was so nice to sleep as late as 7am, and even use the snooze button once. And then, when I checked the WOD, I decided that I could wear my tank top for once. I'd been sticking to short sleeves or longer out of a combination of modesty and embarrassment, but after seeing other people wearing tank tops, I thought I should do it. And my orange tank top is very cute.

Unfortunately for me, today's workout involved a 200m run. And the only place to run is outside. While Boise isn't experiencing the arctic cold covering much of the country quite yet, it was about 17 degrees this morning when I worked out.

Oh, and this time, the workout has a guy's name. Or a last name. I guess it's more a last name.

“Walsh”
4 Rounds for time:
- 22 Burpee Pull-ups
- 22 Back squats (185/135)
- Run 200m w/ 45# plate overhead

When I looked at it before class, I thought it sounded difficult but not impossible. Once I was at class, I found out it was going to be partnered and I felt much more comfortable.

After warming up, we got our barbells set up with our back squat weights. I went with 85 pounds, because I knew that 95 would be really hard for me from the last time we did them, and that 105 wouldn't happen. My head is actually still a bit sore from dropping that bar the wrong way.

Then, I partnered up with another woman, and we set up plates of weights to be a step for our pull ups. The trainer did not want us doing band-assisted pull ups, so I had the new experience of doing jumping pull ups. I've actually wanted to do those for quite some time, but the gym that I go to does not have any bars low enough to accommodate that for me - I have to jump just to reach the bar. There's no way I can jump my chin above it. But with the stack of weights, I was able do the jump assisted pull ups, and I liked it.

My partner and I talked a bit about whether to use the prescribed 45 pound plate for the run. I could barely lift the 45 over my head, so I decided that we should use a 25 pound plate instead. Just like with the back squats, I wanted to make sure that I did it right before adding on the heavier weight.

For the first round, my partner and I split the sets 11 and 11. She went first, and I counted and clapped and waited my turn. Then I started my burpees and they felt like hell. It's like every time I start these work outs, I feel slow and stiff, despite warming up. But we got through the burpee pull ups and the back squats and headed outside into the cold.

It was a lot colder than I expected. I mean, I'd already walked over from my apartment to the Crossfit gym, so I knew it was cold, but now I was sweaty and wearing shorts, a tank top, short socks and thin running shoes. I wanted to go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, my partner was not a fast runner, especially with the 25 pound plate up over her head. She stuck it out though, and when we got to the turnaround point, I took the plate and took off to the relative warmth of the gym and the next set of exercises.

As I saw my partner having trouble with the burpees, I decided we should split our sets 6, 6, 5 and 5. So we switched off in shorter segments, and that seemed to help her. I know it helped me. As we went on, my burpees got smoother, my jumping pull ups more explosive. I found myself yelling as I jumped up from the burpee and up onto the bar.

It was a good thing that we'd stuck with the 25 pound plate, because my partner was not able to hold it above her head for the 2nd, 3rd or 4th rounds. She tried, and she did keep pushing it back up, but her arms kept coming down until it was my turn to take the plate and turn on the afterburners to get back inside.

I was exhausted by the time we finished. I don't think I could have finished it without splitting the reps with a partner. We finished in 25:34, and we weren't last, which was nice. I collapsed for a little bit, and then stretched and walked home.

But I was cold. I got home, didn't take off my jacket or fleece lined pants and ate a sausage and a hard boiled egg before going to the gym with my husband. He was going to do weights, and I hadn't run for over a week because of my box jump bruise. Before I could start running though, I went into the sauna to try and bring my core temperature up. I hadn't felt it at the time, but I had let myself get way too cold.

After about ten minutes in the sauna, I went upstairs to discover that my hip had gotten stiff without running, despite the Crossfit exercises. The second mile was painful as the iliotibial band issue acted up, but I stuck it out and tried to loosen my hip by running. Then I went down to the bouldering cave and had a little practice before going to my reward: the hot tub.

Today, I earned it.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Crossfit Day 15

I'm trying to convince myself that I'm getting used to this whole getting up at 5am to work out.

It's not working yet.

But I did it again anyway.

Today's torture, I mean, WOD, was another one with a name.

“Elizabeth”
21-15-9
- Clean (135/95)
- Ring Dips

First, though, we worked on some floor presses, an exercise I'd never done before. I've done bench presses, but with floor presses, you arms have a more limited range of motion, and the idea is to let your triceps hit the floor and then explode upward in the press. I also learned a new acronym with that workout - we did EOMOM for 16 minutes. Every Other Minute On the Minute. I pressed 65 pounds, 2 to 3 reps per set. Hard for me, but not impossible.

Then it was on to Elizabeth. I tested my clean with 45 pounds and found it to be easy. Too easy! So I added on 10 pound plates at each end. That was too heavy for me to do even 1 rep. So I replaced them with 5 pound plates. Heavy. Hard. A challenge.

I optimistically put a blue band on for the ring dips, and then we began.

I started with 21 of the hardest reps I have ever completed. I failed on a couple of attempts after the 13th, and forced myself to redo them properly before I counted them. I was yelling with each rep, grunting out a wordless roar to get myself to finish. The trainer came over, I think to tell me to take the 5 pound plates off, but I told him I had 2 more, and he let me finish.

I dropped the bar and jogged over to my rings. Yeah, about that blue band... after those killer cleans, the blue band was not enough to help me get any ring dips done, so I ran over to get a green band (the next step up, and the second heaviest gauge) before forcing my body through the 21 ring dips.

On the set of 15 cleans, the trainer told me we could take the 5 pound plates off if I needed. I nodded, but I knew I could do it. If I did 21, I could do 15. Screaming with every rep. Having to redo a couple. Watching other people get ahead of me, finish their own sets. I kept pushing. For the 15 ring dips, I actually used both bands to get through. My arms were already trembling and I had another set to do.

But I wasn't the last one working. There was one other person (out of the 5 taking the class this early morning), who was also still going, pushing. I don't know if she didn't need to yell or if I just couldn't hear her over the music. She finished her cleans before me, but once I dropped my bar for the last time, I was able to knock my ring dips out before she did - because she was doing them unassisted while I at least only used the green band.

My Elizabeth time, with 55 pounds, was 9:10. My arms were like noodles and I collapsed to the ground when I finished.

I finished my workout, and I went hard.

My arms are still sore and trembling, just a bit. I think you might have to be a masochist to get the most out of Crossfit - at least, a little bit of a masochist. Because pushing myself hurts, and the more I push, the more I'm beginning to see results.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Crossfit Day 14

5am is not a natural time to be awake.

At least, not for me.

But I feel better today than I did on Tuesday. I think doing the 5:30am class consistently, instead of switching back and forth between evening and morning, will work out better for my body.

That doesn't mean I have to like it.

So. Up at 5am, out the door at 5:20 and walking to Crossfit, arriving by 5:25. Hardly any time to worry about the box jumps...

AMRAP in 10 min
- 5 Pull ups
- 10 Burpee Box jumps

Since the box attacked me last week, I've been dreading the next time box jumps were on the WOD. And now, here they were, not just box jumps, but burpee box jumps. At least it was only 10 reps at a time, right?

But the warm ups came first, a new torture device wherein we air squatted to a song, standing up when we heard the word "up" and squatting down when we heard the word "down." And we had to stay down until we heard the "up" again. That was to prepare us for the skill set of 10 back squats.

It was supposed to be at 1 and 3/4 body weight. I am so not there, but I did try. I did 95 pounds and thought I could do more, so I added another 20. Down for the test rep, and - I couldn't make myself stand. I didn't know what to do with the weight of the bar on my back, so I ducked my head and let it roll off in front of me.

Wrong!

I was lucky it only clipped my head and didn't mess with my neck. After the crash of the weights drew the trainer's attention, I was informed that the proper way to respond to that situation is to let the weights go off your back - not your front. I wasn't hurt, but I did get a few tears in my eyes from the embarrassment. And I stuck with 95 pounds for the reps, which I did in 3 sets (4, 3, 3).

Then it was time to meet the box again. I brought one out, because I knew I would at least need it for my band-assisted pull ups, but I wasn't sure if I should try jumping when the bruise on my shin was still healing. I mean, it still hurts enough that it brought me to tears when my husband accidentally squeezed it yesterday. So I consulted the trainer and she told me to do step ups instead of jumps.

But I still had to do burpees, so it wasn't like it was that much of a break.

It took me a little over half the time to do 3 rounds, so I pushed myself to go faster and managed to finish 6 plus 5 reps in the 10 minutes.

Around minute 8, I felt like I was getting an asthma attack. My breathing felt extra-labored and my chest felt tight. I powered through, because I knew I could, and because I knew the cause. There was a dog in the gym, and, unfortunately, that gets my allergies going. It was irritating to feel like I was having an asthma attack, but it was also good to prove to myself that I can push past it.

Then I collapsed for an extra long interval at the end, to make up for it.

After Tuesday, I felt exhausted all day long. So far today, I'm not feeling that bone deep tiredness. Just a normal, got up early and worked hard, kind of tired. I'll do it again tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to Saturday when I get to sleep in til 7am!