Crossfit Day 19

I slept a lot better last night, but I was still tired when I woke up this morning. A deep tiredness that makes me want to take a nap RIGHT NOW, but I can't because of this thing called "work" that earns me "money" so I can "eat."

Ahem, anyway, it was another loaded class today, 14 or 15 people crowding in for the early-early class. I met some more people, introducing myself and trying to learn names. And we went around and said our names during the warm-up, but I can't remember anyone's name from that. I don't think I was actually awake yet.

The skill portion of the class involved L sits, which pretty much what it sounds like and incredibly difficult (grab bars and lift your legs straight, toes pointed at the ceiling, making an 'L' with your body). I did the progression, which just involves holding your knees up while supporting your weight with your arms. It was actually a surprise to me that I could do it at all, let alone keep it up for a whole minute at a time - we did 1 minute on, 1 minute off for 10 minutes. There weren't enough actual bars to go around, so I was actually holding myself up on boxes, which was hell on my wrists. Though for all I knew the bars would have been just as bad.

After that strenuous core work, it was time for the WOD:

15 – 12 – 9 – 6 – 3
- Box Jumps
- Toes to Bar
- Deadlift

I brought out my box and I contemplated it. I still have marks on my leg from my box jump fail, and I just feel nervous about trying again. There's a part of me that knows I can do the jumps, but there's another part of me that knows how it feels to fail. I know I will have to try again, but not today. Today, after consulting with the trainer about whether it would be better to do a weight stack jump or step ups, I ended up doing step ups.

They are hard  - it's the same height as the jump, after all, and getting into a rhythm with them is difficult. But they aren't box jumps.

I did knees to armpits again for toes to bar and deadlifted 85 pounds. I think I could handle more. Next time, I'm going to try for more on the deadlift.

The steps ups were the most difficult part of the workout for me today. The thought that I should be doing box jumps made me grumbly about doing step ups - until I was too exhausted to grumble (about 5 reps in). The toes to bar was actually kind of fun. I found myself getting into a swinging rhythm with them and finishing each set quickly. The deadlifts felt good, in that I didn't feel like I was compromising form for weight and that it was hard, even though I thought I could go heavier.

But when the workout was over (I finished in 7:42, one of the first to finish - I think that was because there was a woman next to me that I found myself "racing"), the trainer asked me how it was and I didn't know how to respond.

His suggestions, "Good? Bad?" didn't seem to fit with how I would describe it. I ended up saying, "Hard." But that wasn't quite right. It was good, and it was bad. It was mentally challenging to make myself do the work, and physically challenging to make myself do it quickly. It was difficult, but not impossible. It made me feel like I couldn't breathe and that my abs were going to quit in protest. It gave me a bit of emotional overload that I cried out for a few minutes at home. It made me strive to find my limits.

Is that good?

Is that bad?

Whatever it is, I like it.