Getting Back

Well, I've run into yet another roadblock, but at least I'm running again. I mean, I ran on Sunday, even if it was just for a couple of miles. And I tried to run yesterday, but my heel started hurting badly after about two blocks, so I limped home and tried to figure out where the pain was coming from. Prodigious self massage revealed some sore and tight spots on my calf. When I rubbed those out, the heel pain faded, and I was able to do CrossFit this morning. 

I also did CrossFit yesterday; I'm unsure if that contributed to the calf tightness, but I'm going to skip CrossFit tomorrow morning in the hopes that I will have more energy and be able to run without that heel pain cropping up again. I'll try for a couple miles during lunch and see how that goes. 

Also, I want to make sure I'm in decently rested shape on Friday for the last workout of the Open. I've missed doing the first two workouts, and that sucks, but there really wasn't any way around it for me this year. I have to accept and forgive, because resenting it would just be spending energy on something I can't change. 

I want to put my energy towards keeping up with my weight loss, and getting back into my regular CrossFit and running routine. 

UnOpened

Well, I did sign up for the CrossFit Open this year, as I have most years since I started CrossFit. And the one time I didn't sign up for the Open, I still did all the workouts at my affiliate. But this year, I've been ill. And not the kind of ill I could ignore to sneak in a workout. 

For the first time since I started participating, I have left a workout incomplete, unscored. I don't like it! 

But life doesn't always just give me what I like. My life would no doubt be very different if it did. I didn't end up completing my 10 miles last week, though I tried very hard with a 4 mile run on Monday (the holiday) and a 3 mile the very next day. But my body is just not done being sick. 

My aunt had a similar sickness running from Thanksgiving to Christmas. All kinds of symptoms, just coming one on top of another. I don't think I'm fully through it yet, but I'm through it enough to get back to the office. More's the pity. 

Now I'm facing the possibility that I might miss the next one and I'm just pleading with my body to hurry up and finish off the invaders so we can do 22.2! 

CrossFit Open 21.3 and 21.4

I was not physically, mentally or spiritually prepared for this year's CrossFit Open. My fitness was doing much better back in October, which was when we should have been doing this Open. I was struggling to keep up my fitness through the pandemic, but I was doing pretty well until November. After my mom passed, I got quite a bit off track. 

And right now, I'm working through some diet changes. I want to feel better, and that means I need to find a baseline and then start experimenting. I'm still working on the baseline, which means I've limited my diet to simple foods - things with ingredients I can read through easily, and not very much variation. 

I haven't been counting calories, but maybe I should be. After my performance for 21.3 and 21.4, I suspect that I am not eating sufficient fuel for doing CrossFit. I'll be looking into trying to eat a bit more, but I've cut out the things that I most want to eat. I guess I'm a bit of a junk food addict, and the withdrawal from chips and Cheetos and candy makes other food seem less appetizing. 

Even though I made a mental note of it, I still forgot that the Open announcement was taking place in the afternoon instead of the evening as usual. So I missed the whole thing live, but I did go back and rewatch it. But the first I learned of the workout was via email. 

I was expecting something with the pull up bar. Toes to bar, or chest to bar pull ups. I thought bar muscle ups would be out, because not everyone has the room to do those at a home pull up bar. In that, I was wrong. We got all three of those in the Rx version of 21.3. Then a complex for 21.4, to give us all that heavy barbell we'd been missing from our lives: deadlift, clean, hang clean, jerk. 

Oh, but I forgot about the rest of 21.3 - so, 15 front squats, 30 toes to bar, 15 thrusters, one minute rest, then 15 front squats, 30 chest to bar pull ups, 15 thrusters, one minute rest, then 15 front squats, 30 bar muscle ups, 15 thrusters. 15 minute time cap, Rx weight 65 pounds for women (95 for men). 

Yeah, I didn't do that. I scaled, which replaces the toes to bar with hanging knee raises, the chest to bars with chin over bar pull ups, and the muscle ups with chest to bar pull ups. Plus the weight went down to 45 for women (65 for men). 

And I didn't even finish that in the time allowed. I've done 65 pound thrusters before for an Open workout. It was, in fact, my first Rx Open workout, the one with 10 rounds of 9 thrusters and 35 double unders. But this year, 45 pound thrusters were almost more than I could handle. The only easy part of that workout was the 30 hanging knee raises. I can hanging knee raise all day! But my pull ups have suffered from the pandemic. I have no pull up bar at home, and I know I've lost some strength. 

I did a few for warm up, and they were hard. I even tried a few chest to bar, which I can kind of do, as long as I do a chin up grip and pull really, really hard. 

But when it came to the workout itself, I was not ready. 

Part of this was because I was feeling pretty emotional. I cried before I got there. Part was because, for the first time ever, I puked at CrossFit. 

It did NOT go down how I imagined it. 

I figured I would one day puke at CrossFit. It's almost a rite of passage. But I figured it would be because I worked so hard, or worked out while hungover. Mid-workout! Or just after. Hard core!

Nope. 

My mask is a lint trap. It sucks in dryer lint, and positions it so that my lungs will attempt to suck that lint right down my trachea. Usually, I catch it in my mouth and that's gross, but merely inconvenient. On Friday, I sucked a piece of lint straight down. A coughing fit ensued, and I headed to my car where I had a bottle of water. 

The coughing was not helping to clear the lint, and neither was the water, so, in desperation, I swiped a finger into my throat to try and clear it. 

As an overweight adolescent, I had considered about a bulimia lifestyle at least one or twice, but I never did it, because I had a hard time making myself puke. 

Not on this day. Part of my dinner made a precipitate reappearance. (I really should chew more thoroughly.) I poured some water over it, but I didn't have enough to rinse it off the blacktop, so I went in and got the coach to help me get the mop bucket out and then I rinsed it off the ground well enough. 

And about 5 minutes later, I was attempting 21.3. 

The first 15 front squats weren't bad, and the hanging knee raises were easy. But the 15 thrusters were slow and painful. My body just didn't want to do the work. The one minute rest went by super fast, and the second set of front squats was harder than the first. 

It took me most of the remaining time to get through 30 pull ups. Mostly singles, because I felt just absolutely drained after dropping off the bar. each time I got a couple sets in, 2s and 3s, even one set of 4. But for the most part, it was just a long trip on the struggle bus to finish those 30 under the time cap. I had time left for 2 thrusters, and then it was time for 21.4.

I had no plans to lift heavy on this. I had already felt my body going weak on the pull ups; I wasn't going to risk it going weak with heavy weights over my head. I got in a set at 45 pounds, just in case. Then went to 65, then 77, then 82 for the last set. I could have lifted a bit heavier, I think, but I was glad to stop where I was. 

I know this is not my best performance. But that will make getting the strength back that much sweeter. And it's quite possible that once I figure my tummy issues out, that I'll be able to build back better and faster. If for no other reason than that I'll not be expending energy on those issues. 

This was a weird CrossFit Open, to be sure, but it was also a good test. A new benchmark after a strange year. 

CrossFit Open 21.2

21.2 was a repeat of 17.1 - which I totally called! I actually posted my guess on Facebook, so my fellow CrossFitters got to have a little awe at my ability to get into Dave Castro's head. Well, I guess I'll only be in his head if I can nail 21.3, but I don't have high hopes for that. 

17.1 just made sense to my brain, because after doing a new movement (wall walks) and a movement we usually do with toes to bar (double unders), it made sense that we'd do burpees and something with dumbbells. 17.1 has increasing sets of dumbbell snatches alternating with steady sets of burpee box jump overs. For whatever reason, it made perfect sense to have that follow 21.1. 

I did 17.1 back in 2017 twice, and once in 2019 when it came up during our regular workouts. Scaled all three times, because box jumps are not my friend and a 35 pound dumbbell would be a very heavy snatch for me. The scaled workout allows for box step overs and women use a 20 pound dumbbell. That's very doable for me. However, the 20 minute time cap is tight for me because my burpees are very slow. 

They were faster in 2019, when I finally managed to finish under the time cap. 

In 2021, I was slower. 

Rather to be expected after 2020. In 2018 and 2019, I was going to CrossFit 20+ times a month. I did NOT do anywhere near that in 2020. I mean, I did more running in 2020, but overall, my fitness declined. Plus, I'm on a new simplified diet, which often leaves me feeling hungry or odd. 

Oh, and, well, I did the workout on a Friday night. The day after running 4 miles, and I had gotten up at 4:30 in the morning on Friday to run 4 miles. My legs may have been a wee bit tired. 

But I didn't want to go on Sunday again. I was not comfortable when I showed up and the place was pretty much a maskless madhouse. I didn't get as many reps as I had even in 2017, and I don't even know for sure what my tie break time was because my judge recorded every tie break time except the last one - which was the one I actually needed. 

The workout is painful, even when you don't finish all the reps. My low back especially gets affected by all those dumbbell snatches. 

I'm not as fit as I was two years ago, even though I weigh less. The Open gives me the chance to do these comparisons, to look honestly at myself and my level of fitness, and to make future choices based on what I want my future scores to look like. I'm going to be working on those burpees, which is something that I can do from home. And maybe I'll look into getting a dumbbell of my own for home, but then I'd have to pick a weight. 20 pounds would probably be what I'd pick for general use, but if I want to work up to Rx weights, that's generally 35 pounds for women. 

But right now, at this moment in time, I'm not focused so much on fitness and performance. I'm currently working really hard on getting my gut in line. My current diet is what I called 'simplified' and it isn't the most exciting. I'm eating a small number of foods, prepared in simple ways like steaming. So far, that's working to reduce pain and bloating, but my energy levels aren't super high. It's still a work in progress. 

The open is short this year, with only 3 weeks of workouts. That means next week is the last. I'm looking forward to the next challenge, which I anticipate will involve a barbell and a pull up bar. Maybe some hang cleans with chest to bar pull ups. Oh, or toes to bar! 

CrossFit Open 21.1

I haven't been going as hard on CrossFit over the last year as in year's prior. Gee, I wonder why that might be? 

I especially don't like working out with a mask on, but I strongly believe it's the right thing to do. So I suffer through it, and feel super hot and gross while working out. Well, hotter and grosser than usual. There's not really a way for me to do CrossFit pretty. 

The first workout of this year's Open involved an insane number of wall walks and a moderate number of double unders. Okay, maybe the dubs were a bit insane, too, but only if you got past the set of 21 wall walks. 

I chose to scale, because I know I can do one wall walk, and maybe I could do a set of 3, but even the set of 6 would really challenge me, and I wanted a workout rather than trying to do Rx when it's not where I'm at. I'm letting myself make game day decisions on scaled vs Rx this year, rather than deciding ahead of time. 

The scaled version was scaled wall walks - a totally new movement. After practicing them a bit on Friday, I have christened them "wall dogs" because it's kind of like doing downward dog up a wall. There's a piece of tape that goes under your shoulders, and your hands have to start in front of it, get behind it with your feet up on the wall, and then back in front. Reps start and end with chest and thighs touching the floor. 

The total scaled workout was: 1 wall dog, 10 single unders, 3 wall dogs, 30 single unders, 6 wall dogs, 60 single unders, 9 wall dogs, 90 single unders, 15 wall dogs, 150 single unders, 21 wall dogs, 210 single unders. Rx just change the wall dogs to wall walks and the singles to doubles. 

I made it through 11 reps of the round of 21 wall dogs before I hit the 15 minute time cap. I was hoping to finish, but my shoulders just got fried in the round of 15. I had a couple of no reps. 

Overall, I felt good about the workout, and I'm looking forward to 21.2.

CrossFit Open 20.5

I watched the 20.5 announcement at home, and I just had a feeling that something was up when the first movement announced was 40 ring muscle ups. I was right; This workout of 40 ring muscle ups, 80 calories on the rower and 120 wall balls was different from any other Open workout that has come before it. Because in this workout, every athlete was free to choose their own rep scheme.

So for those of us who don't have ring muscle ups, or maybe only have a few, we are free to complete the calories and wall balls and not worry about the muscle ups. The scaled version was the same for the calories, had a lighter wall ball and substituted chin over the bar pull-ups for the ring muscle ups. I figured it would be just as painful either way, so I went Rx, with the 14 pound wall ball. 

I really dislike wall balls, and I was not looking forward to 120 of them. At the Friday night workout, we talked about strategy and how to divvy things up. For those who were close to getting a first ring muscle up, it was advised to try and get one in the first five minutes, and then, if one was got, hurrying up to get through the row and wall balls - it wouldn't make a difference for your score if you got 180 reps and one of them was a ring muscle up; someone who did 200 reps and got no ring muscle ups would be ranked higher.

Several of us tried practicing muscle ups, but no one who hadn't already done one got one. I can do a ring pull-up, but I don't have the strength to get through the transition, and I also, technically, don't have a ring dip, so I probably wouldn't be able to push myself to the finishing position if I did get through the transition. I know I can't do one now, but I am determined that I will do one someday.

For the workout, I decided that I'd take 8 rounds of 15 wall balls and 10 calories. 15 wall balls is a doable set for me, and I prefer 8 rounds to 10. I wasn't feeling very well (again) that night, so I decided to do a trial run but not actually complete the workout. I got through 3 of the 8 rounds in a little over 5 minutes, so I believed that I would be able to finish the workout when I did it on Sunday. Afterwards, we all chatted and hung out, and I am going to miss that class. I hope they do it again next year.

On Sunday, we were back to having two heats, so my friend and I got to judge each other. She did the scaled version and came pretty close to finishing. She was doing 10 rounds of 4 pull-ups, 12 wall balls and 8 calories. Oh - one of the annoying things about the workout was that the rower was supposed to be reset after each set, so you couldn't have any rollover calories. At least the judges were allowed to reset the rowers so the athlete working didn't have to worry about it.

When it was my turn, I executed my plan. I intentionally started with wall balls so that I would be fresher on the first set and so that I would finish those first. I went unbroken on the first 5 sets - 1 set more than I had hoped for. On the 6th set I broke at number 11, which was irritating. So on the 7th, I decided to break intentionally at 10, and then do another set of 10. That way, on round 8, I got to just do a set of 10. It was kind of nice to be able to re-figure my plan mid-workout.

On the row, I just pushed as hard as I could. I can sprint the rower for very short periods of time, but for this workout I didn't want to burn myself out on the rower. So I didn't go as fast as I possibly could; I just tried to keep a decent pace. Well, until the last round when I didn't have any more wall balls to do. Then I let it rip, finished up, and collapsed.

I felt pretty good about the workout, and the Open overall. Even though I couldn't replicate my handstand push-ups from 2018, I am stronger and more skilled than I used to be. The journey isn't in a straight line, and that's okay.

Judging time! Not that there's a whole lot to judge on the rower.

On wall balls, I need to look for proper depth in the squat and the ball getting high enough. 

There goes my ball; It's right on the 9. 

Row, row, row your Concept2....

I'm imagining that I'm going gently down a stream. 

CrossFit Open 20.4

I wasn't looking forward to 20.4 after 20.3. I wasn't feeling great about the fact that I didn't do better on the repeat of 18.4. But then I watched the announcement, and I started to feel better. Not because I thought I could complete the thing, but because I had nothing to compare it to. 

Well, I panicked at first, because it was box jumps, and I'm pretty slow on those. But then I looked at the movement standards and found that step ups were allowed. Step ups, I can do! The workout time was capped at 20 minutes, and in that 20 minutes, there was a lot to do. 30 box jumps, 15 clean and jerks at 65 pounds, 30 box jumps, 15 clean and jerks at 85 pounds, 30 box jumps, 10 clean and jerks at 115 pounds, 30 one legged (pistol) squats, 10 clean and jerks at 145 pounds, 30 pistols, 5 clean and jerks at 175 pounds, 30 pistols, 5 clean and jerks at 205 pounds (women's Rx weights and movements). 

I knew that the chances of me doing a single 145 pound clean and jerk were small, but I also was pretty sure I wasn't going to be doing very many (if any) pistols, so I was aiming to complete the first half of the workout as fast as I could. I had a goal for this workout, and it was attainable. 

The Friday night class was a revelation. As one woman put it to the instructor, most of us were going to be able to do pistols, but we didn't think that we could. And she was quite right. I actually had her especially to thank, because she demonstrated a method of doing pistols that I could do! 

See, I thought I couldn't do pistols, because I couldn't hold one leg out straight and do the squat on the other leg. But what I could do was bend my free leg and hold onto my foot in a kind of pretzel shape. And it wasn't super difficult on my right leg, but my left leg was a bit weaker. 

I decided to go ahead and do the workout that night to gauge where I was with the heavier (for me) weights and the pistols. Usually, I don't go first, but this time my partner didn't want to go first because he wasn't sure he was going to go at all. So I went first. The 30 step ups were about what I'd imagined. Tough but doable. Then came the 65 pound clean and jerks. I started with a set of 5 and then did singles because I was a lot more tired than I thought I'd be. 30 more step ups was almost a rest, and then came the 85 pounds. I took those a lot slower, but I got through them and went on to my next 30 step ups - last 30! 

It was at this point that I was unsure. I completed that last set of step ups in good time, a little over nine minutes in. 115 pounds was my one rep max for a clean and jerk - admittedly an old PR, but still I had to do 10 of them here. I failed on my first rep, because I was trying to do a technique that one of the coaches had told me to try, not letting the bar get lower than my shoulders. But for whatever reason, I can't lift heavier with that technique yet. Probably lack of practice. So I went back to the technique that works for me, which does involve letting the bar drop a bit down below my shoulders so that I have a better angle at punching it up and over my head. 

And with that technique, I got through the ten reps with time to spare for trying pistols. 

Over the course of about 5 minutes, I got through 9 pistols. More than I'd ever done before in my life. I was stoked. This felt like a win, even though I was nowhere near completing the workout. 

My partner did end up trying the workout and he also got some pistols, so we were both happy with that. Actually, everyone who did the workout was pretty happy. 

I decided to go again on Sunday. I've got a friend who I usually partner up with for the Open workouts so we can take turns judging each other. But the coach decided that there would only be one heat so we couldn't do that this time. I was left scrambling to figure out who I could get to judge me who wasn't already judging someone else.

And then a couple came in who were going to go at 10 am, and I rushed over and asked if one of them would please, please, pretty please judge me. And that's how I ended up with a very good judge for my workout. She asked me what my goals were. I wanted to beat my split time for completing the 3rd set of step ups, and to get at least one more pistol than last time. 

She did a really good job of coaching me to those goals. I beat my split time by nearly a minute, didn't miss any of the reps at 115, and I ended up with a total of 11 pistols, when I had despaired at getting back to 9 with 6 completed and about 2 minutes left in the workout. She buoyed me through it and helped me beat my score. 

20.4 was such a high note that I almost wished it were the end of the Open. But there was one more workout to go... 

An 85 pound clean and jerk.

Pushing it on the step ups.

The 115 pounds comes from the floor...

...gets to the shoulders...

...and then overhead!

CrossFit Open 20.3

Most years in the Open, there is a repeat workout. And this Open was no exception. Although Dave Castro did mix things up in that this repeat was not happening on the same week as it did originally. 20.3 was 18.4, which was a workout that I had done in the past, and hoped to improve upon. 

There was just one small problem. I have been avoiding doing kipping handstand pushups in the last year or so because I am convinced that it would be better and safer if I trained myself up to the point where I could do one strict before I worked seriously on kipping. Back in 2018, I was able to do kipping handstand pushups. I got 12 of them at my second attempt of 18.4. 

But I've gained weight since then, and I haven't been working the movement. I was dreading the attempts, because I remembered on that second attempt that I completely lost the ability to do them and had to be coached through technique until my body remembered what to do. 

At the Friday night strategy class, I decided to try something a little different and brought out a yoga mat for the handstand pushups. I figured the thick mats were a bit too squishy and I don't particularly like putting my hands on the plates (in order to put an ab mat under the head, the hands must be raised with weight plates so that the head goes down to the level of the hands). 

In practice, I managed to get a few reps off. I can, in fact, do handstand pushups. 

But when it came time to get them done after 21 reps of 155 pound deadlifts... I just couldn't do it. I could go through the motions, but my arms didn't have enough oomph to finish the press up the wall. I tried and tried and tried, but I couldn't get lock out with my arms. 

I tried to hold my head high after that, but I felt deeply disappointed in myself. I was supposed to be improving. I'd been doing CrossFit 20 or more times a month for over 2 years and I regress on handstand pushups? 

That emotion was likely my downfall. It led me to going in on Saturday during the open hour and working on handstand pushups. I was convinced that I just wasn't getting the motion right, and that I needed to relearn how my body can do them. In retrospect, I think I was exhausting myself to no good end, since I didn't end up getting a single rep on Saturday or on Sunday when I redid the workout. 

One good thing did come of me going in on Saturday though. My friend was there, and I convinced her that she should do the workout Rx instead of scaled, because she can do handstand pushups. The deadlift weight is heavy for her, but she can also do that. So on Sunday, I got the joy of judging her through her first Rx Open workout, and seeing her get a good number of handstand pushups. 

When it was my turn to go, I was determined to at least do the 21 deadlifts at 155 pounds faster than I'd ever done them before. On Friday, I'd started doing an 8 - 7 - 6 rep scheme, but gave it up after the set of 8. I ended up at 1:23 for the deadlifts, and I figured if I didn't give that scheme up, I could probably get under a minute. 

I pushed through, and while I couldn't get near one of my other friend's incredible time of 23 seconds, I did beat a minute with a time of 56 seconds. 

And then I attacked the handstand pushups. And I gave it my all for the remaining 8 minutes of the workout. And all I got for my effort was a really sore head from falling down after each of my attempts. I got close a couple times, but I couldn't get it. Based on how sore my shoulders were for days afterwards, I probably would have been better off not practicing at all on Saturday and giving myself a chance to recover before Sunday... 

I had to really work at not being disappointed with myself. It helps to put that emotion into the drive to get stronger. If I want to be able to do handstand pushups, then I need to get strong enough to do them strict so I can practice kipping and continue to become more skilled. I know what it took to get a pull up, and I know that it wasn't impossible, though it seemed so before I started CrossFit. 

My friend can deadlift 155 pounds, yes she can! 

I did try. I tried very hard.

I can also deadlift 155 pounds. Pretty fast, too. 

Gosh, this picture makes it look like I did a rep... but I'm just hanging out at the top. 

Another angle on the lifting. 

Up it goes. 

CrossFit Open 20.2

I really liked that 20.2 had weights and movements that I could do. I have no illusions about putting up a competitive score, but I like being able to strive at the Rx version of the workout rather than perhaps excelling at the scaled version. I'm pretty slow, so I'd rather have my score depend on weights and skill than speed.

20.2 was as many rounds as possible in 20 minutes of 4 dumbbell thrusters, 6 toes to bar, and 24 double unders. When a workout has a lot of toes to bar, I usually scale to hanging knee raises, since I can't string toes to bar together very efficiently. But 6 is not that many to do at a time. And I'm finally at a point with my double unders that 24 isn't scary. I'd say, I'd probably be comfortable with sets of 30, even. Maybe 35. 50 still gets me nervous though.

The dumbbell thrusters were the only questionable part. It's only 4 reps, but women's Rx weight was two 35 pound dumbbells. I know that I have gotten that much weight overhead before, in a prior open, but a thruster is different from a jerk.

At the strategy class, I got a chance to try out the dumbbells and they were heavy. But I could lift them. Up above my head. So I was going to do my best at Rx and get a really good workout. One thing that they recommended for speed on the thrusters was to take the dumbbells to the shoulders with a kettlebell swing type movement, nice and smooth. Several of us taped the bars to protect our hands and help our grip during the toes to bar.

We were joined by a visitor here to do the open workout. I ended up pairing with her to take turns judging. She went first, scaled. She did run into a snag because none of the jump ropes were quite the right length for her (a fellow height-challenged person). But other than that, she rocked it, moving smoothly through the hanging knee raises (a real ab burner) and the thrusters (two 20 pound dumbbells was the scaled weight for women).

She also did a bang up job judging me, if I do say so myself. The hard part for me, as anticipated, was the thrusters. Those dumbbells got so heavy, and it was hard for me even to lift them onto my shoulders. I didn't want to pick them up because I knew how hard it would be. At one point, when they were overhead, my left wrist wobbled and collapsed a bit. But my toes to bar were steady singles and I managed to get through 8 sets of 24 unbroken double unders, so that's cool. My total for that attempt was 8 rounds and 24 reps (4 thrusters, 6 toes to bar, 14 double unders).

This workout was hard, but not so hard that I didn't want to try it again. I felt like I could get more rounds, 10 to be exact. That's an average of two minutes per round. Surely I could stick to that pace for a mere twenty minutes.

On Sunday, I first judged my friend, who also did scaled. She blasted through an amazing 23+ rounds, and I was in awe. I told her my goal for the workout and she agreed to nag me through it.

The major change that I made to my workout on Sunday versus Friday was in how I addressed the dumbbells. I am just not strong enough to swing those dumbbells right up to my shoulders. In the interest of keeping moving and not messing up my lower back, I switched to a two step technique. First, I deadlifted the dumbbells, then I did a hang clean to get them to my shoulders. Slower, but safer and more efficient for me. I also invested in some wrist wraps, because my left wrist was really sore from that bobble and I didn't want to lift those dumbbells overhead without some support.

And those changes made the difference. Or the fact that I'd done the workout once already and I almost always do better on a repeat. I got my 10 rounds with about 10 seconds to spare.

I'm so judgmental ;)

Such heavy dumbbells!

It's nice not to work out alone. 

We are twins, you can't even tell who is who. 

Toes, prepare to meet bar. 

My form could use some work - it would be better if my body were straighter. But for now, this gets the reps done.

CrossFit Open 20.1

I didn't sign up for the 2019 Open back in February because I wasn't feeling like I could do my best at that point. I pretty much do worse every year in the Open, rankings-wise. And unless the workout is a straight up repeat of one I've done before, it's really hard to gauge my own self-improvement. I hadn't been running very much at that point in the year, and I also had a cold for a good two weeks during that time.

I decided to do the 2020 Open even though things haven't changed all that much from February for me. Okay, I have gotten stronger since then, what with the Spartan training that I did. And I've been running again, which helps get my lungs in better shape for these challenges. And I have a much better attitude toward the whole thing right now. I'm just going to go out and do my best.

To that end, I signed up for Arbor CrossFit's Open strategy class, Fridays at 6:30. The cost was not exorbitant, and I liked the idea of being in a group of people focused on doing their own bests. Not that that doesn't happen on Sundays, but not everyone at Arbor is signed up for the Open (or even for the Fall League challenge at Arbor), so it's a different energy. Just another workout for some folks, while others are striving to do their absolute best on this test.

I was a bit nervous before the first one, because what if these serious people were too serious for me? But I didn't linger on that worry and I'm glad I didn't, because it was all great people, most of whom I knew well already.

The class went well. I learned a new strategy for bar-facing burpees and did some practicing for the workout. Some people actually went ahead and did the workout that night, but I didn't feel like doing it twice. The workout was 10 rounds of 8 ground-to-overhead (snatches or clean and jerks) and 10 bar-facing burpees with a 15 minute time cap. The Rx weight was 95 for men and 65 for women, with a two foot take-off jump over the bar required. The scaled weight was 65/45, with a step over the bar allowed rather than a jump.

I knew that for me the burpees would be the slowest part for me, and that slowness would carry over whether I was lifting 65 or 45 pounds. A 65 pound snatch is a heavy snatch for me at this point, but I got a chance at the strategy class to try out the weight, and I was able to lift it. By doing one rep at a time, I should be able to do my best for 15 minutes.

I had no illusions that I would finish the workout, but that would have been true scaled or Rx. So I chose to do Rx and test myself that way for this workout. In the strategy class, those of us who were not completing the whole workout went through 3 rounds. In those rounds, I worked out how to do the new burpee strategy, which involves a half turn in standing up and while it does have a two foot take-off, it doesn't always have a two-foot landing (which is okay). I also noted that my time for 3 rounds was a bit over 7 minutes, which gave me a good goal for the real thing.

On Sunday, which was my birthday - thanks Dave Castro for giving everyone burpees for my birthday - I signed in to the 8 am class to go and do my test.

But I wasn't in such a hurry that I went in the first heat. I needed to get someone to judge me, and, luckily, there were a few people there to watch and cheer, one of whom I was able to convince to judge for me. I told her my goal was to get 6 rounds and not stop moving.

I knew I wasn't going to finish; not only are my burpees slow, but the 65 pounds for a ground to overhead is pretty heavy for me if I do a snatch and moderate if I do the slower clean and jerk. But I figured 6 plus rounds would be in my reach if I could keep myself moving for the whole 15 minutes.

Those 15 minutes passed fast! And painfully... but I managed to meet my goal and get 6 rounds plus 8 reps, thanks to some great encouragement from my judge. I stayed on to cheer and watch others do the workout, though no one else needed judging.

And as I watched others doing 20.1 at my gym, I felt a welling of tears in my eyes. My body has done more than I ever expected of it. And I have no reason to be ashamed of my body. If you've never felt ashamed of your body, then you might not understand why this felt so profound for me. I have never had the body that I was "supposed" to have. I've never been thin or skinny. I've never been athletic and toned. I have always been on the heavy side, and curvy, and padded. And my family was more likely to chide me for being overweight than be supportive of what I actually was or happy with what I could actually do.

I tried my best. I did my best. I didn't quit. And that is what matters.

I started with snatches.

But 65 pounds is not an easy weight for me.

I stayed steady on the burpees.

And kept up the snatches as long as I could.

That was a good lockout overhead.

But I had to switch over to clean and jerks around the 3rd round.

Yeah, that's about what I felt like at the end.

CrossFit Open 19.5

Ah, the last week of the 2019 CrossFit Open! Although, technically, there will be another Open in October of 2019, so it isn't quite the same as years past.

Except for the workout. As has been the case for the last 5 fifth workouts, we were once again presented with a couplet of thrusters and chest to bar pull-ups.

To be fair, this was an exceptionally hellish version of the couplet. 33 of each, then 27, then 21, then 15 and finally 9. A 20 minute time cap so it could only end quickly if you finished.

Last year, when the rep scheme was 3 of each, then 6, then 9 until 7 minutes were up, I went Rx and got a number of chest to bar pull-ups. This year, with figuring out my abdominal pain issues and being on antibiotics, I chose to scale. That meant instead of 65 pound thrusters, I had a mere 45 pounds to work with, and instead of chest to bar pull-ups, I got to do jumping chin over the bar pull-ups.

Normally, the workout would be tough but doable. But this week, I was on a course of antibiotics that interfered with my appetite. I ate maybe a third of my breakfast before this workout, and I hadn't been eating enough since I started the antibiotics on Tuesday. So I was low on fuel. And I had some additional digestive issues going on that necessitated too many bathroom visits.

I didn't ask for a judge, since I'm not signed up for the Open online this time, and I picked a spot in the back so I wouldn't feel the need to try and show off. Not that I could have. But someone did find me back there and cheer me on. He even started counting my reps for me, even though I didn't need to be judged formally. I think, if he hadn't shown up, I might have quit.

I don't like to quit a workout, but I was feeling like I had no energy, and a bit dizzy. It was not my best effort, though my unofficial judge did praise my thruster form. I know I could have gotten it done faster if I had been fully fueled. But I didn't quit. I did my very best for that day. It wasn't an ideal day, and that's okay.

I got through the torture session in 17 minutes exactly. My body felt awful, but I was finished. I got to spend the next heat just watching and cheering - while sitting. And then the Open was over. For some reason, there were less people who wanted to do this workout than any other week... I didn't even get a chance to be judgmental this time. But there's always October.

Let the pain begin!

It's not a heavy bar, but this was a lot of reps...

So many reps.

And jumping pull-ups aren't as easy for me as I think they should be. 

Just gotta break the plane of the bar with my chin.

I got advice to use my lats more, and that helped - when I remembered to do it.

I definitely got over the bar better when I remembered to squeeze my lats.

I promise, I didn't lift the bar from this position, this was just on the way down to a proper pick up. 

A brief rest before the next rep.

That face! I'm all, seriously, I have to keep going here?

I'm almost in sync with the gentleman in green - except he's doing chest to bars. 

A little chatting and spectating after I finished.

CrossFit Open 19.4

I wasn't sure what to think of 19.4. Burpees are not my friends, for the most part, but I felt confident about the scaled snatch weight of 45 pounds and the chin over the bar pull ups. I might have tried to do the 65 pound snatches, and I might have succeeded, but I'm nowhere near bar muscle ups right now and it might be injurious to try. So I planned to scale, but I wasn't sure how far I'd get.

19.4 was 2 sets of 3 rounds each with a mandatory 3 minute rest between them and a total time cap of 12 minutes. The first set of 3 rounds was 10 snatches and 12 burpees over the bar. The second set was 10 bar muscle ups and 12 burpees over the bar (chin over the bar pull ups for scaled). I wasn't even sure that I would make it to the second set, because I've been feeling pretty slow.

On the other hand, I've also been participating in a burpee challenge for the month of march, and while burpees over the bar (technically bar facing burpees, since we were not allowed to do the burpees laterally) are more difficult than the challenge burpees, I have been practicing the movement this month. The challenge runs for 20 days, starts with 3 burpees on day one and increases by 3 each day. So by the time I got around to doing 19.4, I had completed my set of 51 burpees (in a single set, no breaks - but slow).

A set of just 12 burpees, which, in the past, might have been intimidating, was looking like a nice break.

I started the morning by judging a friend, who broke up the sets of snatches and made short work of the burpees. She was also going scaled, but has not been working on pull ups for as long as I have. Still, after the rest break, she made it through 9, which was really awesome. I tried to help her with her kipping motion, but I'm not a coach, so while I could see there was something off with her timing, I couldn't provide her with a way to correct it.

After that, I went off to warm up with my set of 54 burpees. I figured I would be able to get nice and warm, but not wear myself out too much with that as long as I started early enough. That also allowed me to go ahead and watch the second heat, where another friend got her very first strict pull up - and she made it look easy! I only wish I'd gotten some video of that.

Then it was my turn, and, although I had advised my friends to break up the sets of snatches, I have a heavier one rep than they do, so I was going to play it by feel. Maybe 2 sets of 5, I thought.

Naw.

I went unbroken for each of my 3 sets of 10 snatches at 45 pounds. It got a bit heavy on the last set, but by the time I had finished 6, I knew I wasn't going to be putting the bar down for a break. I pounded them out and got to the last set of burpees, which also went pretty fast for me. I didn't have a great split time, but 4:44 was better than I expected of myself.

Three minutes of rest is both a lot of time and not very much time at all. I spent a good minute of it singing nonsense syllables to try and calm my breathing and lower my heart rate. It is pretty amazing how much you can recover in just three minutes. Even though I still felt horrible, I was able to get up to the bar and knock out a set of 10 kipping pull ups. That had been my goal, but I wasn't sure I would be able to do it!

Then burpees, then more pull ups. I switched quickly to fast singles on a lower bar so I wouldn't waste energy hanging on when I couldn't muster linked ones with kipping anymore. I was getting down to the end of the time while going through my burpees, and I pushed hard to finish with enough time to at least try to get a pull up in. I hopped on the bar for a fast single, realized I still had time and did one more.

I didn't finish this one, but I didn't really expect to finish it. My burpees are better than they used to be, but they aren't exactly fast. Still, I felt really good about how I did in the workout. Since I scaled, I didn't have to jump over the barbell for the burpees, just step over, and that helped a lot, since I always get freaked out about the possibility of tripping on the bar on a jump - even though that's never actually happened to me. I have tripped over a rower trying to do burpees over the rower, but not a barbell. Plus jumping jacks up the heart rate.

Just one more week left of the Open for - well, not this year, since there will be another in October - for this competition cycle, which will culminate in the 2019 CrossFit Games. I'm looking forward to another challenge, preferably one that I can smash.

Me being all judge-y.

There were far more pictures of me judging or standing around than actually working out this time.

In fact, this is the only picture they posted of me during the workout, about 20 seconds after I finished the first round. I'm that little ball in the upper left corner on the floor. 

CrossFit Open 19.3

Well, I managed to guess the closest this time on my box's online contest to guess the next open workout. One year, I named three of the four movements on a workout, but two others did the same and the winner was chosen randomly. I did not, therefore, "win" that one. For this one, a good number of people had guessed handstand walking, myself included, but I was the only one to put up dumbbell box step ups (technically, I think I wrote step-overs, but that's pretty close).

19.3 was a 200 foot walking lunge, with a dumbbell overhead for Rx and in the front rack for scaled. Then 50 dumbbell box step ups. Then 50 strict handstand pushups - with 5 inches of elevation for the head if one were going scaled. And, to round out the action, a 200 foot handstand walk, or bear crawl for scaled. All this in a mere 10 minutes.

I did not have high hopes for getting past the box. I'm not feeling the best this Open season, and, being a short athlete, the box height is comparatively high (20 inches is nearly a third of my height). And, to add insult to injury, the scaled dumbbell weight was the exact same as the Rx. I had to handle a 35 pound dumbbell up and down that step up.

Plus... I tend to cheat on step ups. I get tired and I put my hands on my legs to finish the movement. Not only would I be busy with a 35 pound dumbbell, but hands on the legs were specifically forbidden in the movement standards.

I've got a deal set up with two friends, where one takes the first heat, one the second, and I take the third. Then I judge number 1, number 1 judges number 2 and number 2 judges me. That way we don't have to worry about getting a judge - this can be especially fraught if you're going in the first heat because people don't tend to show up early unless they are in that first or second heat - and you are discouraged from judging in the heat right before your own. So that's working out well.

I felt pretty sick on Sunday morning, but I got myself to the box and got ready to judge. Laurie made it to the handstand pushups with a good 2 minutes plus and worked on the wall until time ran out. Then she judged Alex while I warmed up with burpees. I wouldn't normally warm up with burpees, but March has a burpee challenge and somehow I agreed to do it. 3 burpees times the date, March 1st through March 20th. It's... been interesting so far. At least it's a good warm up.

Then I did some cheering, because I couldn't think of what more to do for warming up. And then it was my turn to go. The lunges were a lot harder than I expected, in part because my forearms started burning up from holding the dumbbell in the front rack. Looking back, I wonder if I shouldn't have just tried Rx, since the box movement was exactly the same, but I didn't. Maybe next time.

I had practiced holding the dumbbell behind my neck for the step ups, and it worked alright. Us short folks had worked out that bringing a foot up and then bringing the other foot to join it before straightening out both legs at the top was easier than trying to stand up straight on one leg and bringing the other one up, as we might have done without the weight. I did sets of 10 as best as I could, but my back was panicking with pain and I had to switch over to holding the dumbbell over one shoulder.

I made it through 41 step ups. And it just about killed me. No, that's an exaggeration. But it took a lot out of me and I didn't even make it to the handstand pushups, which is a bit disappointing since I'd like to know how I would have done with the elevation. Again, next time.

After that, I indulged in one of my favorite activities, using my outdoor voice indoors. See, there was a guy, not a regular at our box, but a friend of a regular. I knew the woman judging him, and I heard him ask her to yell at him, call him names, for motivation. She did her best, but I knew I could contribute here. So I went over and yelled at him. It was great fun. And he finished the box step ups before the time cap. He even had enough time to try a handstand pushup, though he couldn't get one.

Later, when I was judging someone else, he came over and thanked me for the motivation.

I actually like judging, though I do get nervous about getting the standards correct. I've mostly gotten over the hesitance about calling a no-rep on a friend. And I am pretty good about giving a warning when I start to see form on its way to collapse. Maybe one of these years I'll take the online judges course and evaluate video submissions, because that sounds like fun to me.

The Open is more than halfway over now, and I definitely don't feel like I'm as fit as last year. Something feels off and wrong in my body, and I am trying not to make it worse by pushing myself too hard. My friends have both been sick this open, and I have emphasized with them that they just need to get through it and do their best for the day. And I'm trying to do the same, doing my best - for now.

I'm being very judgy in my Bears hoodie.

Again, with the jugdment. 

Now I'm being judged and burning out my arms. 

This is near the end when I gave up on the behind the neck method and worked as hard as I could with single arm.

A bit before I started yelling at this guy doing box step ups. 

Judging again.

I actually had to give some no-reps when she didn't start with her hands behind the line.